Studies show that people remember the beginning of something, and the end of it, the best. The middle of it is recalled a little more hazily.

Once a novel experience starts, your brain really starts focusing on what’s going on and quickly makes judgements about the new people you meet. And you clearly remember the last part of an experience, because it ends up being the freshest in your memory.

Given this phenomenon, people understandably spend a lot of time thinking about how to make a great first impression — which indeed has an outsized influence on how people see you, lasting for even months after you’ve gotten to know them.

But the other part of the equation is frequently ignored, though it’s also important. You not only want to make a dynamite first impression, you want to make a great last impression, too.

As Daniel Pink, the author of When, told me in my podcast interview with him, the end of something “has a disproportionate effect on how we remember things”:

You see it anecdotally in something like Yelp reviews. You want to kill 15 minutes, go on Yelp, look at restaurant reviews, and you’ll see a disproportionate number of them evaluate the restaurant by what happened at the end of the meal, ‘They gave me a check, and it was wrong, and they were jerks about it.’ ‘They gave me a free dessert, woo hoo.’ So, I think it’s really important in our personal encounters and in our professional encounters that we’re conscious of endings, and try to get endings to end not only on a positive note but in a way that elevates. Human beings prefer endings that elevate, we prefer rising sequences to declining sequences, and being conscious and intentional about that can improve our interactions.

Below are a few quick tips on how to improve the last impression you make in both business and social situations:

Gather your belongings in your left hand. When a job interview has come to a close, pick up things like your notebook or briefcase with your left hand; that will keep you from fumbling to free up your right hand when the interviewer reaches out to shake it.

Make physical contact before leaving. Physical contact promotes bonding; even a handshake has been shown to increase rapport and make you more likable and memorable. So make contact before you leave.

In a job interview or client meeting, shake hands with the other person as you part ways. Give a good, warm, confident handshake; make sure your hands are dry (discreetly wiping/patting them on your pants before you stand up), that the web between your first two fingers connects with the web of theirs, and that your fingers are flat rather than cupped so that your hands touch palm-to-palm.

In a social situation, shake hands or hug the other person as you say goodbye. 

In both professional and personal settings, if it feels natural, consider offering physical contact twice, offering a handshake/hug when you rise from the desk/table and at the door as well.

End with eye contact and a smile. As you make physical contact, look the other person in the eye and smile. Face them directly, rather than being at an angle, so you’re standing heart-to-heart. You’ll leave behind the impression of someone who’s open, straightforward, and warm.

Thank the person twice. As you stand up from a desk in an interview or other professional setting, say something like, “Thank you so much for the opportunity. I really appreciate it.” Then when you part at the door and shake hands, say, “Thank you again for the interview.”

In a social situation, accompany your first thank you with an appreciation for something specific you enjoyed about the event: “Thank you so much for having us over. That was the best pot roast I’ve ever had.” Then at the door, just say, “Thanks again for having us!”

Make sure you have all your belongings. If you make a great last impression, but then sheepishly have to come back through the door again, apologizing and saying you left your phone somewhere, that memory will supplant the other to become your new last impression, and not a great one at that.

Move with intent. Don’t stand there shifting your weight back and forth and saying, “Well . . . so . . .” When you’re hesitant, awkwardness results. Be friendly but firm with your goodbye; know exactly what you’re doing next, where you’re heading, and move confidently and deliberately in that direction.

Send a follow-up text/thank you note. Sending an appreciative text or thank you note (depending on whether the event was more casual or formal, respectively) is a really nice touch, and extends and solidifies the warm memory people have formed of you in their minds. So after a date is done, text the gal to let her know again what a great time you had. After a nice dinner party, send a thank you note to the host, sharing how much you enjoyed yourself and appreciate their hospitality. After a job interview, send a note to the interviewer thanking them for the opportunity. It’s such a simple thing to do, but will really set you apart from the pack.

Oftentimes, if we feel like an interaction isn’t going well, we just sort of turn off and shut down. But you shouldn’t give up — you can still improve the impression you’ve made! Even when things seem to be going downhill, try to finish strong; the person you’re with will remember the positive end of your interaction more than the muddling middle.

With our archives 4,000 articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in March 2018.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Your casual clothes are the ones you wear on your own time.

It’s hard to put boundaries on what pieces of clothing count as “casual” and which ones don’t. If you ask what a suit is, most people will say “business wear,” but a salmon-pink suit with yellow pinstripes? Not so appropriate for the boardroom.

With standards relaxing everywhere and some industries (art, web technology, etc.) priding themselves on a relaxed, unconventional look, “business” wear is nearly as hard to define. Depending on your job, your casual wardrobe might be fancier than your work wardrobe, or less dressy, or it might be the exact same clothes.

So don’t worry too much about the old categories and definitions.

Upscale or down-to-earth, sleek or rugged, casual clothes are your clothes for you. They’re the expression of your personal style outside of any external dress code, when no one else is defining your style for you, and the choice of what to wear is entirely your own.

Unfortunately, this freedom can be a little frightening. Most men subsequently retreat into a default “uniform” of casual duds: think khakis and a button-down shirt for nicer occasions, and jeans and a t-shirt for everything else. While such get-ups done in the right materials, colors, and fit can be decent looking, they’re hardly either interesting or sharp.

With a little thought and effort, however, your casual clothes can turn heads every day, everywhere you go.

How to Elevate Your Casual Style

Variety is the spice of life, and it’s also the soul of good casual clothing.

If you look at a fashion model — or just a well-dressed guy on the street — you’ll see that what makes him stand out is that his clothes don’t look like everybody else’s.

That doesn’t mean that to look sharp and casual you have to wear wild prints and eccentric garments; the bar of mainstream men’s style is set so low, you don’t have deviate greatly or make a big effort to stand out!

Here are 4 simple ways to elevate your casual wardrobe above the status quo:

1. Layer

One of the biggest problems with the t-shirt/jeans or dress shirt/khakis look is that it’s complete at a single glance. No one’s attention is going to be held, because there’s nothing there to hold it. Once they’ve taken in your trousers and your shirt they’re done.

Layering basically just means adding pieces to an outfit. A blazer is a layer; so is a cardigan or a hat or a scarf or even a casually-slung messenger bag. 

The result of adding details beyond the shirt and trousers is visual complexity. There’s more to take in, so people’s eyes linger longer.

You also get the practical benefits of an outfit you can change on the go, of course; shed a layer when it gets too hot, or offer your jacket to a lady when she gets cold. The only real drawback to a layered look is added warmth in the summer and occasionally having to keep track of something you took off.

So add a few pieces. Jackets are great, whether they’re a navy blazer or a denim or leather jacket; have one of those at a minimum. From there, go where your style and tastes take you.

Learn more about some common layers:

• Guide to the Sport Coat
• How to Wear a Sport Coat With Jeans
• Guide to the Blazer
• Guide to Leather Jackets
• Guide to Sweaters (General)
• Guide to the Cardigan

2. Emphasize the Accents

Looking good is about people noticing your appearance and remembering it.

Good accents give people something to remember you by.

What’s an accent? Basically anything that isn’t the big, body-covering pieces of the outfit. Trousers, shirts, and jackets aren’t considered accents; almost anything else can be, depending on how you wear it.

Making small upgrades to your basic accents can take an outfit from “uniform” to “unique.” Trade out plain brown dress shoes for a pair of brightly-colored canvas shoes or a loafer with a metallic buckle. Swap a leather belt for a colored web one. Add a tasteful piece of masculine jewelry or a unique watch.

This does call for a little moderation. Your outfit shouldn’t be all about one accent. If all anyone can remember is your neon-yellow ammo belt, you’ve overdone it. But some color, detail, and uniqueness where most men are wearing the most neutral option available will definitely set you apart from the crowd.

Learn more about accent pieces:

• Guide to Men’s Jewelry
• How to Choose a Wristwatch
• Guide to Scarves
• Guide to Belts
• Guide to Boots and Shoes

3. Tailor the Fit

Even though a non-layered look isn’t as interesting as a layered one, it still can be sharp — as long as you nail the fit of the garments.

Casual should never look sloppy. You’re showcasing your own personal taste — and you don’t want people to think you have a taste for laziness.

We usually think of tailoring as being an option for business clothing, but casual clothes benefit just as much from some customization.

You don’t have to invest in bespoke construction for all your casual clothes (though it is a good way to get a unique jacket or blazer made exactly the way you want it), but a few alterations to the fit should be mandatory for most wardrobe items.

Trousers should be hemmed so that they break neatly, with the cuff resting lightly on the top of your shoes. The crotch should be kept as close as possible without sacrificing comfort so that you don’t get a saggy look between your legs or in the butt.

Shirts are also worth tailoring, especially if you tend toward the slim side and most shirts are baggy on you. A baggy shirt tucked in makes a “muffin top” of fabric spilling out over your belt (terrible), and a baggy shirt untucked billows like a sail (also bad). You also want to avoid short-sleeved shirts with armholes that are too big for you, as they make you look scrawnier and weaker than you are.

Factor the price of tailoring into the clothes you purchase, because it’s very rare to ever buy something off the rack that requires no alterations at all.

Learn more about fit and alterations:

• The Importance of Good Fit
• Guide to Clothing Alterations
• How to Find a Good Tailor

4. Experiment

It’s all about variety.

If you’re a big fan of sports jackets, and you own a whole closet full of neat ones, you’re set for that look. Whatever combinations you come up with, you’ll have the clothes to pull it off.

But you don’t want to be that guy who always wears a sports jacket.

Mix it up some. Invest in shirts that can be worn without a jacket, or shirts that are unusual under a jacket, like a long-sleeved t-shirt instead of a collared shirt. Substitute cardigans or casual coats for blazer-style jackets. And so on.

Don’t be afraid to go to stores you’ve never thought about shopping at before and trying on styles that look nothing like your day-to-day wear. You might surprise yourself with what you look good in.

That said, of course, you never want to buy experiments until you’ve tried them on and spent a good long while checking the effect out in the dressing room mirror . . .

Wearing Sharper Casual With Confidence

If you’ve added some variety to your casual wardrobe, you’re ready to go out there with a detailed, layered look.

Now comes the important part: be ready to turn some heads and attract some comments.

Most guys just don’t dress well. You’ll see it looking around. On any given street (unless you’re in a very fashionable neighborhood) most men will be wearing interchangeable outfits. You could yank the clothes off one guy and slap them on the next without anyone noticing the difference (adjusting for body type, of course).

When you start dressing better, you will not blend in. In some situations you’re going to seem a little overdressed. And that’s just fine. As long as you’re not wearing business clothes in a clearly non-business situation, you can be as dressy as you want. It just has to be clear that it’s your look.

There are limits, of course. You probably don’t want to show up to a kegger wearing a summer suit. Use a little judgment. But for the most part, accept the idea that you’re going to be better dressed and attract more attention than most of your fellow males.

Own it, and enjoy it.

Written by Antonio Centeno, founder of Real Men Real Style

With our archives 4,000 articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in March 2018.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Sundays can sometimes be a little lonely, gloomy, and boring; they drag on and spur melancholic rumination. This is especially true when the weather is cold and dreary. And even more true when you’re in college; you’re far from home and there’s not a lot going on. Scrolling your phone to pass the time is always an option, but it gets old; you come to a point where you feel like you’ve reached the end of the internet. It doesn’t do anything for your mood, either.

Below you’ll find 17 alternative activities that’ll help you escape the Sunday doldrums and put you in a great frame of mind for the week to come.

Make a stack of perfect pancakes, a killer breakfast taco, a hearty breakfast casserole, the best fried eggs of your life, or James Bond’s scrambled eggs.

There’s still something satisfying about the tactile experience of reading a real paper publication.

No matter what’s bugging you, solvitur ambulando — it is solved by walking. 

There are a whole bunch of benefits to going to a Sunday service — even if you’re not the pious type.

You’ll feel better when your house is spick and span, and you can get it that way in just 30 minutes.

Here are some ideas as to the different kinds of entries you might make. 

Naps always feel the best on Sundays — and offer numerous benefits beyond the pleasure of simply sacking out. If you want to mix things up, try napping like Salvador Dali.

Make her day; you know she wants to hear from you. 

Take a cruise in the countryside; turn on some good tunes; feel those relaxed vibes.

Here are 7 you should write before you turn 70.

Life-lesson-imparting, fun-competition-stirring, flow-inducing, generation-bridging, social-interaction-facilitating, and tech-diet-diverting, analog games are awesome. Break out a board game or deal for one of the six card games every man should know.

Stumped as to which to crack open? Check out our list of the 100 books every man should read.

Should you own shoes capable of it.

Need to get inspired to make the effort? Here are 9 reasons dinner parties are awesome.

Don’t have one yet? We’ve got a list of more than 75 hobby ideas here.

Here’s the system I’ve used to plan my week for almost 20 years now.

It will warm someone’s heart, and yours as well. 

With our archives 4,000 articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in February 2015.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

You’re on vacation and staying at a rental house with your future in-laws.

They head out to do some shopping in town and you figure it’s a great time to take care of your daily constitutional.

Once the deed is done, you flush the toilet. But the water starts going up instead of down.

Uh-oh. You’ve gone and clogged the toilet. This isn’t the impression you were hoping to make.

“No problem,” you think. “I’ll just use the plunger to get things unstuck.”

You look to the left of the toilet. You look to the right. You do several 360 spins and look in every corner.

Uh-oh. There’s no plunger.

You’re not entirely out of luck though. With some other household supplies, you may be able to solve this dilemma without having to tell everyone that you put their toilet out of commission.

Below you’ll find 6 ways to unclog a toilet without a plunger.

While these methods can be used to unclog a toilet without a plunger, they’re also handy when you’ve tried to unclog a toilet with a plunger, but it didn’t work. Consider these your plan B back-up options.

Pour Hot Water Into Toilet Bowl

Fill up a pot or pitcher with hot water from the tub. Don’t use boiling hot water! If you do, it may crack your porcelain throne.

From waist level, pour the hot water into your toilet bowl.

The pressure of the falling water, combined with its heat, can help loosen and dislodge the clog.

Add Dishwashing Detergent

If the hot water trick didn’t work, add some liquid dish soap to the bowl. The soap will make the clog slippery, hopefully helping it clear through the pipes.

After adding the dish soap, let everything sit for 20 minutes or so. Give it another flush. If it still doesn’t move, pour another batch of hot water into the toilet. You can also combine things from the get-go by pouring a pot of hot water mixed with dish soap into the bowl.

Combine Vinegar and Baking Soda

We’re going to 5th-grade-science-fair this clog by creating a vinegar and baking soda volcano in your toilet. Add a cup of baking soda to your bowl. Slowly pour the vinegar into the toilet until you get a fizzy chemical reaction. The fizz will hopefully disintegrate and nudge the clog through the pipe.

Try the Toilet Brush

You can use your toilet brush as a kind of plunger. Stick it into the toilet bowl hole and move it up and down like you’re plunging. This will provide some suction action, while breaking up the, um, matter that’s clogging the toilet and helping push things down.

If you don’t want your brush covered with the…stuff…that’s clogging the toilet, wrap a plastic grocery bag around the brush before using it.

Employ a Wire Hanger Snake

Grab a wire hanger and straighten it out. Slide it down the hole to dislodge and break up whatever is causing the clog. Be careful not to scratch the porcelain at the bottom of the bowl!

Use a 2-Liter Soda Bottle

You’ll need a pair of rubber gloves for this one because you’ll be sticking your hands in the clogged toilet. Consider this your Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid last-ditch, blaze-of-glory effort to get the clog out without a plunger.

Fill a 2-liter soda bottle with hot water from the tub. Place your gloved thumb over the opening of the bottle and then place it into the toilet bowl. Start squeezing the bottle to shoot out the hot water. The hot water, plus the water pressure, should dislodge the clog.

Illustrations by Ted Slampyak

With our archives 4,000 articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in February 2022.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

When the physician and psychiatrist Leonard Schwartz surveyed his life at middle-age, he was not particularly happy with the state of himself as a physical specimen. Decades of smoking, overwork, and living a sedentary lifestyle had left him with high blood pressure, chronic back pain, and a generally subpar level of energy.

Dr. Schwartz began incorporating swimming and running into his routine, and found these exercises brought him to a decent level of fitness. But he still felt he wasn’t where he wanted to be health-wise.

It was at this point that the good doc developed a fitness system that ultimately lowered his heart rate, cut his running times in half (despite doing less mileage), upped his strength, dropped his weight, and exponentially boosted his vim and vigor.

The name of his system was “Heavyhands” and with the publication of Heavyhands: The Ultimate Exercise and Heavyhands Walking in the 1980s, Schwartz’s methodology became something of a national sensation. Though the workout has now largely been forgotten, it’s deserving of a resurrection.

The Origins of Heavyhands Walking

The idea for Heavyhands grew out of Schwartz’s discovery that the athletes with the highest VO2 max (generally considered the best indicator of cardiovascular fitness) were not cyclists, nor runners, but cross-country skiers.

From this insight, Schwartz drew a conclusion that was both intuitive and seemingly neglected: when it came to achieving cardiovascular fitness, “Four limbs are better than two.”

Most forms of cardio, the doctor observed, greatly emphasized the lower body over the upper. Activating the latter as much as the former, Schwartz hypothesized, could thus significantly increase the workload, and the subsequent health benefits, of exercise.

Schwartz began to test his theory both on himself and in a laboratory by taking small dumbbells in each hand and then performing all sorts of exercises: striding and swinging the dumbbells using the “double pole” maneuver cross-country skiers employ; running (for distance and in place); lunging, jumping, and dancing; and just generally moving his legs and swinging dumbbell-laden arms in all kinds of directions and combinations.

While all these varied calisthenics proved effective, Schwartz found that doing the “Heavyhands Walk” — essentially walking while pumping dumbbells with one’s arms — was the “best way to begin combined, four-limbed movements” and the most natural form of heavy-handed exercise.

The Benefits of Heavyhands Walking

Walking is an oft-recommended exercise, and while it’s certainly better than doing nothing, it’s a pretty light form of activity, with lightweight benefits to match. A Heavyhands Walk transforms a pedestrian saunter into what Dr. Schwartz believed is “an exercise that makes one more mechanically strong and aerobically powerful than any other combination of exercises could.” Schwartz called it “Walk Plus” — an activity that couples all the normal benefits of walking (gets you outside, doesn’t involve real skill, can be done anywhere) with these additional advantages as well:

Whole body exercise. Even in our day-to-day life, outside of a dedicated workout, our legs get “exercise” by default by having to carry us from one place to another. Our arms, in contrast, typically just kind of hang there. Even when we do engage in intentional cardio, our lower bodies often do a greatly disproportionate amount of the work; the arms and torso are fairly inert in cycling, for example, and even when running, one’s arms swing through the air without resistance. That leaves a lot of the body on the passive table; as Schwartz observed, “While arms are small compared to legs, the upper body contains fully 65 percent of our total muscle mass!” Heavyhands engages all the muscle groups of the body, bottom to top.

Strength + cardio. While Heavyhands is primarily a cardiovascular exercise, it does build a bit of strength too. While doing thousands of repetitions with light weights isn’t going to make you big and strong, it does engage the muscles more than some other types of cardio, and athletes who have tried it have found surprising carryover improvements in their performance in their primary sports.

The same kind of benefit from doing loaded carries can of course be found in something like rucking. But not only actively carrying but manipulating the weight engages different muscles, and makes one’s walk more inefficient and effortful; carrying weight with the hands may produce up to twice the workload of carrying it supported on the back.

Convenient. By engaging the whole body, Heavyhands gives you a better workout, in less time. Plus, you hardly need any equipment and can do it anywhere, even packing your little dumbbells on a trip.

Improves cardiovascular health. Schwartz’s testing found that by adding the pumping of weights, and engaging all four limbs simultaneously, the workload, and thus the cardiovascular benefits, were greatly improved compared to conventional walking. For example, vigorously pumping 3-lb weights while walking briskly generated 2.5-3X the workload of walking without the weights, and at certain levels, Heavyhands Walking approaches the cardiovascular workload of jogging.

Effective, but low impact. Even though the cardiovascular workload from a Heavyhands walk does approach that of jogging, it’s a form of exercise that is much gentler on the body. With most forms of cardio, if you want to up your workload, your only option is to move your legs faster and harder, and that can lead to injuries. With Heavyhands, you can increase the intensity in both arms and legs, distributing the effort. And unlike with running, both legs never leave the ground at the same time, minimizing the impact of the movement. For these reasons, it can be a great cardio workout for those who are recovering from certain injuries that prevent them from engaging in their usual modality, or for those who are older and simply feeling the wear and tear of time.

Go longer, more comfortably. Relying on the intensity of your legs to power your workout can be uncomfortable and lead to the premature cessation of one’s workout. Schwartz found that by incorporating all four limbs, exercise felt easier and more comfortable, allowing people to keep at it longer.

Fat loss and improved body composition. Having observed that people hated to be deprived and almost never stuck with modifications to their eating, Dr. Schwartz did not believe in dieting for weight loss. Instead, for the exact reasons we recently outlined here, he advocated for the “Overall legitimacy of exercise as the supreme weight-controlling device.” Confident that you could shed pounds simply by adding the exercise habit alone, he thought Heavyhands — and the way it engaged the whole body and allowed for longer periods of steady-state cardio — was the most effective workout for achieving this aim.

By doing Heavyhands, Schwartz himself lost 15 pounds while eating more, and more of his favorite foods. He also found that Heavyhanders not only lost weight in general, but saw their lean muscle mass go up and their fat go down, improving their overall body composition. Strength coach Dan John, who first introduced us to Heavyhands and does the Heavyhands Walk himself, has seen this very effect born out in both himself and the clients he trains. Indeed, John says that Heavyhands is “still the best fat-burning workout for the masses.”

All in all, Schwartz considered Heavyhands Walking the optimum workout for everyone — whether young or old, currently sedentary or long-active — and thought it could be used as a person’s primary form of exercise, or as a supplement to their other athletic pursuits.

How to Do Heavyhands Walking

Back in the 1980s, people heard about Heavyhands through the grapevine, maybe flipped through Schwartz’s books, and figured the concept was simple enough that they needn’t bother to actually read them.

As a result, many thought they knew how to do a Heavyhands Walk and went for it. Then, when they didn’t get the results they sought, they abandoned the idea, blaming the methodology.

Heavyhands is pretty simple, but there are things you have to understand and adopt if you want to see real results. Let’s talk about what those things are:

The Pump. This is key to the effectiveness of Heavyhands Walking, and the most common thing people neglect (and then wonder why the method isn’t working for them). You don’t simply carry dumbbells in your hands when you do a Heavyhands Walk; you pump them.

While carrying weights in any fashion will increase the workload of a conventional walk, pumping them versus letting them dangle by your side will recruit more muscle and increase the required effort, and the attendant benefits. For example, Schwartz’s lab found that you would burn 4X more calories high pumping 2-lb weights than carrying 15-lb weights at a dead hang.

The “pump ‘n’ walk.”

To do the proper “pump ‘n’ walk,” take a “diagonal stride,” swinging the arm opposite the striding leg, i.e., when your left leg is striding forward, your right arm is pumping, and vice versa. Keep your elbows close to your sides, and curl the weight up, palms facing inward.

The three levels at which to pump your dumbbell-holding arms.

There are three standard levels to the pump and each level represents one foot: “Measuring with the hands hanging straight down at your sides, if you’re about average height, Level 1 hits you about belly button high, Level 2 near the front of the shoulder joint, Level 3 about the top of your head.” You can also shoot for the moon and go for Level 4, pumping “about as high as most of us can pump without losing the limb!” The higher you pump, the harder the work. The different pump levels also emphasize different muscles, with levels 1 and 2 targeting the arms, and 3 and 4 recruiting your shoulders, upper back, and chest.

With every pump, don’t just emphasize the upwards arc, but also intentionally pull the weight down on the downstroke rather than just letting it fall; a deliberate pull on the eccentric side of the movement will engage your lats, triceps, and pectorals.

The Weights. To perform a Heavyhands Walk, you walk while holding a dumbbell in each hand. Schwartz describes the Heavyhands Walk as a form of “strength-endurance,” but the emphasis is definitely on the endurance part of things. You want to carry weights heavy enough to offer a little resistance, engage the muscles, and add to the workload, but light enough that you can pump your arms with them for an extended period of time.

If you’ve already been lifting weights, you’ll probably greatly overestimate how much you can heft. As you’ll quickly find, pumping a weight a thousand times is a whole different ball game from doing a set of ten.

So start with two-pounders (or even one-pounders), and go from there. If you really do this regularly, you may end up increasing the weight of each dumbbell to something like 10 lbs, but sub 5-pounders are going to be right for nearly everyone at the start, and for a long time after.

Any hand weights will do, but Schwartz recommends getting ones with a strap that goes around the back of the hand to support the weight and reduce the need to overgrip it; with or without the hand strap, you don’t want to grip your dumbbells too tightly, as this will lead to fatigue and spasm.

Having tested both the soft, sand-filled kind of hand weights, and the solid, firm variety, we prefer the latter.

The Regimen. Schwartz recommended doing three to four 30-minute Heavyhand sessions a week. But you can find a length and frequency that works for you.

A good, moderate place to start (you may need to scale back if you’re totally new to exercise) is walking with 2-lb weights, doing the Level 2 pump, for 30 minutes. You may need to intermittently revert to Level 1 at times to rest your arms before returning to Level 2.

To increase or decrease the intensity of your walks, you can play with three variables: pace, weights, and pump level. To up the intensity, walk faster, carry heavier weights, and/or pump higher; to lower the intensity, do the converse.

If you wish to throw in a greater emphasis on the strength side of things, Schwartz recommends using the heaviest weights you can pump for 10% of the time you Heavyhands Walk. You’ll have to slow your pace, and/or lower the pump height to make this doable. Keep in mind that upping the weights will make the workout more anaerobic and less aerobic.

While Dr. Schwartz believed the Heavyhands Walk alone was plenty sufficient to keep your fitness tuned up, he felt that, ideally, you’d also incorporate other moves into your walk as well in order to target different muscles. This included all manner of goofy-looking kicks, struts, skips, leg lifts, punches, lunges, and duckwalks, which, realistically, the average person is not going to feel comfortable performing. At least in public.

Schwartz himself admitted that there was a potential embarrassment factor to be overcome even with doing the standard Heavyhands Walk itself. Though, he thought it wouldn’t be a factor we’d have to contend with in the 21st century, as he was confident that Heavyhands wasn’t a fad but would instead become a permanent, commonplace fixture of the fitness landscape. “The nice thing about social embarrassment phenomena is that . . . they disappear as fast as they emerge,” Schwartz predicted back in 1987. “When people discover that the odd movements associated with pump ‘n’ walk produce exhibitable muscular rips and cuts, the embarrassment will vanish. You can count on it.”

Well, the good doc was wrong about that. But, he was right about the effectiveness of the workout he birthed. So just try to walk where people won’t see you. Or briefly stop pumping when a car drives by. Or, best of all, put on some sweatbands, embrace your inner, totally tubular 1980s walking dad, and stop caring what people think about you already.

With our archives 4,000 articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in January 2023.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Does it feel like the world is out to get you?

Does it seem like everyone you know is an a-hole?

Does it feel like your life is going nowhere and that you’ll always be a loser?

If you answered “yes” to one or more of the above questions, then you might be a miserable SOB.

Don’t worry, though. You don’t have to be a miserable SOB for the rest of your life. You’re probably not really a miserable SOB, even. You’re probably a swell guy who’s just let some stinking thinking infect his mind.

At least that’s what psychologist David Burns postulates in his book — Feeling Good — which helped popularize cognitive behavioral therapy.

In the book, Burns highlights eleven common cognitive distortions people engage in that make them feel absolutely miserable. These cognitive distortions are erroneous thought patterns that give everything a jaundiced tint and sicken how you feel about yourself, other people, and the world around you. According to cognitive behavioral therapy, a big reason people feel miserable is that their thoughts are jacked up. Fix the erroneous mental models, and you fix the bad feelings.

Below we highlight the eleven cognitive distortions that people engage in on the regular, and which may be making you feel miserable. With each, we’ve included the definition Burns gives of the distortion in his newest book, Feeling Great, along with a thumbnail sketch of it that can help you recognize that distortion in your own life.

1. All or Nothing Thinking

“You look at things in absolute, black-or-white categories, as if shades of gray do not exist.”

“If I never write a bestselling book, I’m a failure.”

“Because I’ve discovered these flaws in my faith, the whole thing is a lie.”

“She forgot my birthday, so she’s not worth having a relationship with.”

Most things in life aren’t black and white. Overly dualistic thinking isn’t true to reality. Life is full of nuance. A goal can be worth pursuing even if it doesn’t garner the highest success; there are worthwhile things in both flawed people and flawed philosophies.

2. Overgeneralization

“You generalize from some specific flaw, failure, or mistake to your entire self. Or you may generalize the way you feel right now or some negative experience you’ve just had, to the future.”

Overgeneralization is all about lending a globalized import to a discrete mess-up. You make a mistake at work and decide you’re incompetent at your job. You lose your temper at your kids and decide you’re a bad dad.

Overgeneralization deals in “always” and “never”: You make a cutting comment to your girlfriend and think, “I always ruin my relationships.” You miss one workout and think, “I’ll never get in shape.”

You can also overgeneralize with other people by taking a specific flaw, and deciding it’s indicative of their entire character. For example, because your co-worker whistles annoyingly, you decide he’s entirely inconsiderate . . . ignoring the way he always brings donuts to meetings and helps you troubleshoot your software.

3. Mental Filtering

“You filter out or ignore the positives and focus entirely on the negatives.”

Your mind is like Velcro for the negative and Teflon for the positive; bad things persistently stick in your head, while good things slide off and into the realm of non-awareness.

4. Discounting the Positive

“You tell yourself that your positive qualities or successes don’t count.”

This is related to mental filtering. The difference is that you do recognize the positive qualities in yourself or in another person . . . but then you convince yourself that they don’t “count.”

“My last idea went over well, but it won’t get me any closer to getting the promotion.”

“Yeah, I did lose some weight this week, but it doesn’t matter because I still look like the Pillsbury Doughboy.”

“That woman may have said that I looked handsome, but she was just being nice.”

5. Mind Reading

“You jump to conclusions about how others are thinking and feeling without any clear evidence.”

Humans are terrible mind readers, but that doesn’t stop us from trying to be clairvoyant. And when we do read the minds of others, we typically assume — without evidence — that they’re thinking the worst about us.

“My boss didn’t say anything after my presentation because she thinks I did a bad job.”

“That woman smirked at me because I’m unattractive.”

“My friend hasn’t answered my text because I’m not important to him.”

6. Catastrophizing

“You make arbitrary and disturbing predictions about the future.”

Catastrophizing happens when you make seemingly logical jumps between a catalytic cause and a sequence of subsequent potential effects, creating a chain that ultimately leads to an illogical final conclusion. For example:

“I got a D in my accounting class. That means I won’t have a good GPA when I graduate. If I don’t have a good GPA, I’ll have a hard time finding a job. If I have a hard time finding a job, then I’ll be living at home with my parents for the rest of my life.”

Each little jump in such a line of thinking seems reasonable, but it’s pretty unreasonable to conclude that just because you get a D in a college class, you’ll die alone.

7. Magnification and Minimization

“You exaggerate the negativity in a situation and minimize the positives.”

Seeing the world through a lens that magnifies the negative and minimizes the positive — a lens of consistent pessimism — contributes to depression and just feeling unmotivated in general. If all you see are the downsides of your job (a cold boss), and you minimize its positives (enjoyable co-workers), it’s going to be hard to get out of bed each morning.

8. Emotional Reasoning

“This involves reasoning from how you feel: ‘I feel like an idiot, so I must be one’ or ‘I feel hopeless, so things are never going to get better.’”

After a terrible fight with your significant other, you think, “She is the worst person, and this relationship isn’t working.”

After a thoroughly romantic date with your significant other, you think, “She is the only one for me. I’ve never been happier.”

Which is the “truth” about your relationship?

Feelings fluctuate. And while emotions can be a source of reasoning, they need to be trained to align with your intellect. People who take part in maladaptive emotional reasoning completely substitute feeling for cognition. Whatever they feel and only what they feel is reality.

So if they feel bad, something must be wrong with them or the world around them.

But that might not be the case. Sometimes you feel crummy for no reason in particular. Sometimes you’re suffering from “emotional contamination,” and a bad day at work infects how you feel about your family. Sometimes a confluence of unfortunate circumstances come together to create a cluster of chaos, but these circumstances represent an aberration, rather than a norm from which to draw any kind of conclusions.

9. Should Statements

“You criticize yourself or other people with shoulds, shouldn’ts, musts, ought tos, and have tos.”

“Shoulds” are expectations and standards that may be arbitrary in nature. We can feel guilty when we don’t live up to what we think we’re supposed to do (even if we’re not obligated to do it), and angry and frustrated when people and the way the world works don’t meet our expectations (even if we’ve never communicated those expectations and/or they’re unfair and unreasonable ones to have).

10. Labeling

“Labeling is an extreme form of overgeneralization in which you try to capture the ‘essence’ of yourself or another person with a one-word label.”

If garden-variety overgeneralization takes place when we draw broad conclusions based on one specific belief/behavior, then labeling is where we wholly dismiss ourselves or others by collapsing complex humans into one-dimensional categories:

Because you broke your sobriety streak you’re a “loser.”

Because your brother hasn’t repaid your loan he’s a “cheat.”

Because someone belongs to X political party he’s a “moron.”

11. Personalization and Blame

“You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for.”

“You blame others and overlook ways you might have contributed to the conflict.”

When mistakes and conflicts happen, the cause of it is often complex. Oftentimes you’re not the only one responsible for a problem, and neither is the other person.

Quit Being a Miserable SOB

So how do you get rid of these maladaptive mental scripts?

The first step is just recognizing them. As you talk to yourself and to others, be on the lookout for these cognitive distortions.

The second step is to challenge your negative thought patterns.

If you make a mistake at work, and catch yourself engaging in overgeneralization by deciding that the mistake means you’re a complete loser, ask yourself if that’s really true. Sure, you made an error on some report, but you’re doing pretty well in other areas of your life. Your family life is solid. You’re making progress on your fitness goals. And the majority of work days, you don’t make mistakes. So, no, you’re not a complete loser.

Do the same if you catch yourself engaging in cognitive distortions about other people. Yes, people can be annoying, and you may disagree with them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re utterly irredeemable. Humans are multifaceted beings. They can’t be understood by focusing on a single trait, or described with a single word. A person can be annoying and conceited and giving and hardworking at the same time.

Look for the good in your life and in others; then, let it really marinate in your mind.

Challenging cognitive distortions is a skill that takes practice to develop. Don’t expect immediate results and prepare to have setbacks. But with time, you can rewrite the scripts that have made you feel like a miserable SOB, and begin to become a more positive, confident, son of a gun.

With our archives 4,000 articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in December 2021.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Stocking stuffers often get overlooked in the rush to see the bigger gifts Santa’s left (be sure to check out our ideas for those). But they’re one of my favorite parts of Christmas. There’s something so fun about little gifts small enough to be stuffed in a giant sock. Yet once a man ages out of the novelty toys of his youth, it can be hard to know how to fill his stocking with things that are both neat and useful. For that reason, we’ve created this guide that includes 50 stocking stuffers a father, husband, or brother will find both practical and delightful. While every stocking should have one or two just-for-fun items, too many stocking stuffers are bits of junk that get thrown in a desk drawer, and then, once the feeling of guilt wears off, put in a trash can or tag sale. So the things we’ve chosen are those a man will enjoy using the moment he pulls them from his stocking and for a long time afterwards.

Pocket Knife

Every man should carry a pocket knife. Huckberry carries a number of nice pocket knives like the Leatherman Skeletool.

Pocket Ref

I love a good reference book and my favorite by far is the Pocket Ref, 4th Edition by Thomas J. Glover. This small, black book is crammed with just about every piece of information a man might want to know. Want to know about different lumber types? How about how to tie the fifty most common knots? Need a formula to determine the area of an oblique triangle? It’s all there in the Pocket Ref Guide and much, much more. Sure, you can find this info online these days, but this guide serves as a great book to have by the toilet so you can thumb through it while taking care of business.

Camp Snap Screen-Free Digital Camera

Remember when taking pictures meant you actually had to wait to see them? The Camp Snap brings that back. It’s a simple, screen-free digital camera that fits in your pocket, takes about 500 shots on a single charge, and stores a couple thousand total. No screen to stare at, no temptation to edit or post. Just point and click. You’ll have to wait to see the pics after you get home.

IronMind Captains of Crush Hand Gripper

The Captains of Crush grippers are the gold standard for building serious grip strength. Made from aircraft-grade aluminum and precision-machined steel springs, they feel like something you’d find in a blacksmith’s gym bag. They come in eleven different resistance levels. Even the lighter models will humble you fast. But with consistent use, they’ll toughen your hands, strengthen your forearms, and make every handshake feel like a statement. They’re small enough to keep on your desk or toss in a gym bag, and they’ll last a lifetime.

Casio A158WA Series Watch

The Casio A158WA is proof that style doesn’t have to be expensive. For under thirty bucks, you get a stainless-steel throwback that looks like it was plucked straight off your dad’s wrist in 1985. It’s light, reliable, and has just enough retro charm to stand out without trying too hard. You can wear it mowing the lawn or with a suit — either way, it somehow works. I own watches that cost twenty times more, but this one gets a surprising amount of time in my rotation. Simple, timeless, and indestructible — the A158WA is the best cheap watch you’ll ever actually love wearing.

Nose/Ear Hair Trimmer

Growing little sprouts from our nostrils and ears is just part of the natural life cycle of human males. While that hair growth can’t and shouldn’t be totally eradicated, it can easily be managed. Despite a number of trimming options, by far the best is the electric trimmer. They’re easy to use, get the job done fast, and don’t have any of the pinching or yanking of the other options.

Working Hands Cream

After a long day of house projects, a hard session of weightlifting, or a few hours spent on a woodworking project, even the toughest man’s hands need moisturizing relief. Working Hands is made for especially dry and cracked paws and will help heal and repair any damage inflicted from manly labors.

Khlip Ultimate Clipper

You may never have thought much about your nail clipper, but maybe you should. The Khlip makes for the ultimate upgrade. Superior ergonomics, clean-cutting blades, and a built-in cavity to hold the clippings make this the world’s best toenail tamer. 

Huckberry Beanie

A Japanese-made beanie that blocks out the cold and keeps you stylish in the process. It’s also durable as heck. Include it in your loved one’s stocking this year, and he’ll be chomping at the bit to go outside and snowshoe or split some wood for the fireplace. 

Sportsman Cologne

Sportsman Cologne adds a splash of adventure to your day. Handcrafted in small batches in Austin, Texas, this rugged scent features notes of leather, musk, flint stone, red clay, and pine. This has been Brett’s go-to cologne for fall and winter for several years.

Atech 5-in-1 AirTag Multi-Tool

Quit using your house key to hack open Amazon boxes. This compact Atech tool clips to your keyring, holds your AirTag, and actually gets the job done. It’s got a box opener, nail puller, 10mm wrench, and a couple of other tricks — all in solid metal. Small, useful, and way better than ruining your keys.

Bellroy Hide & Seek Wallet

The Hide & Seek Wallet is a natural starting point for those looking to slim their wallet. It’s conventional, yet loaded with hidden features and compartments that will Houdini away your extra bulk. Cut from premium vegetable tanned cow leather, it’ll protect your bills and plastic and photo of your sweetheart for years to come. This version of the Hide & Seek sports an RFID-blocking upgrade that protects your personal information contained in RFID enabled identification cards, passports and smart cards.

J. L. Lawson Decision Coin

Minted from solid metal, the decision coin is a far more fun way to make coin flip decisions. Beyond that, it can be kept in a wallet as a reminder of the role that fate plays in all of our lives.

Survival Kit in a Sardine Can

This air-tight, waterproof, crushproof sardine can is packed with 25 survival items, including a fishhook, signal mirror, fire starter cube, and first aid supplies. Now, because of the variety and quality of the items in the can, this is far more of a novelty item than an actual survival kit. But it’s pretty cheap and a lot of fun; every stocking needs at least one item that’s simply designed to delight and act as a conversation piece. This fits the bill nicely. 

Shaving Cream

Most men lather up using some green goop from a can. These mass-produced shaving creams smell like you should be cleaning the floor with them. Share the pleasure of shaving with natural shaving creams and soaps with manly scents like almond or sandalwood. They cost more than the drugstore variety, but last far longer. My personal favorite is the sandalwood-scented shaving cream from Art of Shaving. 

Firestarter and Striker 

Knowing how to start a fire in a variety of ways is manly. The Firestarter and Striker tool set from Rill Simple Tools will make sure you’re always prepared to start a fire in a wilderness survival situation. The aluminum striker ignites magnesium in all conditions, regardless of wind, rain, snow, or temperature.

Varsity Disposable Fountain Pens

I love writing with a fountain pen. It makes writing even a lowly grocery list feel like a dignified affair. Unfortunately, a decent fountain pen can cost upwards of $50. If you want the fountain pen experience without the cost (and worry of losing an expensive pen) check out Varsity disposable fountain pens from Pilot. A 3-pack costs only $8 and writes almost as smoothly as more expensive fountain pens. These make a great stocking stuffer for a man who’s been curious about fountain pens, but hasn’t had the dough to try out an expensive one.

Davek Solo Umbrella

Most umbrellas are disposable. The Davek Solo isn’t.

Built from high-grade steel, fiberglass, and aluminum, its patented wind-combat frame shrugs off gusts that would leave a drugstore umbrella in the gutter. The carbon-reinforced ribs flex without snapping, and the water-repellent microweave canopy sheds rain like waxed canvas. This bad boy will protect you from the elements for years to come.

Zippo Pocket Handwarmer

This handsome handwarmer from Zippo makes the perfect stocking stuffer for the man who spends a lot of time in the freezing cold. My dad would have loved this in his game warden days on those cold mornings checking duck hunters.  

Tactical Flashlight

Besides helping you find your car keys in a dark parking lot when you accidentally drop them, a small tactical flashlight can also serve as a useful self-defense tool. Shine the bright light from the tactical flashlight in a would-be attacker’s eyes to temporarily blind him and give yourself enough time to run or counter-attack. High quality tactical flashlights can cost well over $100. For most folks, that’s probably too much for a stocking stuffer. At about $40, the Streamlight 88301 Protac Tactical flashlight puts itself on the potential stocking stuffer bubble. While it doesn’t emit 500 lumens like its more expensive cousins, the 88301 does offer enough light output (180 lumens) to blind an attacker momentarily. 

Hitch Hair Clay

If you’re looking for a hair product that provides hold, while maintaining a natural look, pick up a jar (or two of Hitch All Day Clay). Besides giving you a great coif, it has a clean fragrance with notes of bergamot, vetiver and sandalwood that goes well with anything. 

Everyday Carry Items

According to the Every-Day Carry website, “Everyday Carry, or EDC, generally refers to small items or gadgets worn, carried, or made available in pockets, holsters, or bags on a daily basis to manage common tasks or for use in unexpected situations or emergencies. In a broader sense, it is a lifestyle, discipline, or philosophy of preparedness.” If you know a guy who ascribes to the EDC philosophy, nothing will delight him more than seeing some cool new pocket-sized things in his stocking. We’ve already covered pocket knives, flashlights, and handkerchiefs, but there are many more handy and neat things available. 

Blackwing Pencils 

These aren’t the standard yellow #2 pencils that you grew to hate during middle school. Just as fountain pens are a step up from the leaky ballpoints you buy in bulk, these Blackwing pencils are an upgrade over that old Ticonderoga. Made with California cedar wood and high-quality Japanese graphite, they deliver a surprisingly smooth, pencil-paradigm-changing writing experience. There’s a reason these iconic pencils have had a cult following since the 1930s. Be sure to grab the two-step sharpener as well.

SABANI 35,000mAh Portable Charger

The SABANI Power Bank packs a massive 35,000mAh battery — enough juice to charge your phone multiple times — yet it’s about the size of an iPhone. It’s got four built-in cables (Lightning, USB-C, USB-A, and Micro) plus three extra ports, so you can charge up to six devices at once without digging through a tangled mess of cords. Great for keeping your devices charged while you’re on a backpacking trip. 

BioLite HeadLamp 

A headlamp’s one of those tools you don’t think much about until you really need it. The BioLite 300 fixes the usual annoyances — dead batteries, accidental power-ons, and clunky weight. It’s USB-rechargeable, locks so it won’t turn on in your pack, and weighs just 50 grams. The battery sits neatly in the back of the moisture-wicking band, so it’s comfortable enough to forget you’re wearing it.

Drugstore Cologne

We wrote about six forgotten and manly drugstore colognes and aftershaves in 2012. It was a big hit. Cheap drugstore cologne was a staple in my dad’s stocking growing up, and I remember getting my first bottle of Brute in my stocking when I was twelve. Any of the old drugstore standbys make a great stocking stuffer gift. You can’t go wrong with Old Spice. 

Instant Read Thermometer

Every backyard barbecuer needs a good meat thermometer. The usual variety, though, can be sort of fickle to use. You never know if you’ve waited long enough, or even how accurate it is since the needles tend to move a bit. With an instant read version, you don’t have to worry about that at all. Stick it in, and a couple seconds later you have an accurate reading. Can also be used with baked goods, homebrewed beer, and other foodstuffs that require precise temperature readings.

Analog Alarm Clock

Give the gift of better sleep! Most folks’ smartphones are in their rooms with them come bedtime. Whether diddling around and staying up too late (and sacrificing sleep) or using its alarm to wake you up, your phone ends up being the last thing you see at night and the first thing you see in the morning. But plenty of research — both anecdotal and scientific — has shown that getting your phone out of your room makes for improved sleeping, waking, and mental and physical health. When you give the gift of a “throwback” alarm clock, you give the gift of better well-being.

Pocket Notebooks

We’ve extolled the benefits of the pocket notebook numerous times — they’re so handy for writing down ideas, to-do tasks, or just capturing your bored scribbling. There are a variety of great pocket notebooks out there. Field Notes are a classic Made in America brand that have a nice vintage look to them. Huckberry has a series of Field Notes that pay homage to American National Parks.  They’ve got a  Rite in the Rain are cool because, well, you can write in them in the rain without losing your world-changing idea. 

Snake River Farms Wagyu Beef Sticks

Made from 100% American-raised Wagyu, these beef sticks are a long way from gas station jerky. Snake River Farms — a family-run outfit that helped pioneer American Wagyu — blends Japanese bloodlines with American cattle to create that rich, buttery flavor and perfect snap.

No artificial junk, just clean protein you can toss in your pack or desk drawer. Great for hikes, road trips, or the stretch between lunch and dinner when you need something that actually tastes like real beef.

Original Arbuckles’ Ariosa Blend Coffee

Getting a coffee-lover a bag of beans is a no-brainer. But which should you choose? Instead of grabbing a bag from Starbucks on Christmas Eve, try the Ariosa blend from the Arbuckles’ coffee company. Touted as the “Original Cowboy Coffee,” and the “Coffee That Won the West,” John and Charles Arbuckle first made their coffee way back in 1864, pioneering the practice of selling pre-roasted beans and putting them in 1lb sacks. Packages come with a peppermint stick, just as they did over a century ago. 

Old Fashioned Chewing Gum

Black Jack gum was first made by Thomas Adams all the way back in 1884. Made with aniseed, it was the first flavored gum made in the US and also the first gum to be offered in stick form. Adams’ company, American Chicle Co., then acquired Beeman’s in 1898 from its inventor, Edward E. Beeman. Beeman had incorporated pepsin in his recipe, a digestive enzyme, and Beeman’s became incredibly popular among pilots as an aid in both popping their ears and an antacid to settle their stomach acid during flight. Clove was another zippy flavor added by the company later on. These classic chewing gums were discontinued in the 70s and then brought back by Cadbury Adams and now make a great stocking stuffer for the man who wants to taste what Gramps was chomping on while playing stickball. Look for these gums at speciality candy stores.

David Protein Bar

The macros on the David Protein bare are impressive: 150 calories, 28 grams of protein, and zero sugar. They only have 2 grams of fiber, but they’re surprisingly filling. The result is a perfect 1.0 PDCAAS score, meaning it delivers all the amino acids your body needs. My favorite flavor is the Peanubutter Chocolate.

Huckberry Weekender Sunglasses 

An all day, everyday pair of sunglasses that doesn’t break the bank. Lightweight but with a hardy construction, polarized lenses, and crucial hinge protection (which is where sunglasses always fail when/if they take a tumble), these can truly be taken anywhere. While a nice pair of shades makes for a good under-the-tree gift, everyone needs a pair or two that they don’t have to worry too much about.

Uncle John’s Truth, Trivia, and the Pursuit of Factiness

Every bathroom needs a bathroom reader — a handy little book that can be perused a few minutes at a time while doing your business. The classic in the genre is the Uncle John’s series, which is now in its 32nd edition. With short tidbits of interesting facts and longer tales of daring and misdeed, there’s always something fascinating to be found in its pages, no matter how long the visit. 

Wythe New York Camp Socks

The kind of socks you want to live in all winter. Knit in North Carolina from recycled cotton, these Wythe Camp Socks are soft, sturdy, and built for both the couch and the woodpile. The jacquard-knit evergreen pattern gives them just enough seasonal flair without going full ugly-sweater. Warm, durable, and quietly festive — the perfect stocking stuffer for anyone with cold feet.

BFWood Clothes Brush

A good clothes brush is one of those old-school tools that every man should own but few actually do. This one from BF Wood makes a great case for bringing the habit back.

Crafted from solid beech wood and fitted with pure boar bristles, it hits that perfect middle ground — soft enough not to damage delicate fabrics like wool or cashmere, stiff enough to sweep away lint, fuzz, and dust. A quick pass over a jacket or sweater before heading out the door will leave it looking sharper and lasting longer.

Roark’s Cove Solid Cologne

Cologne, without the glass bottle or the splashy mess. Fulton & Roark’s solid fragrance is compact, travel-ready, and built for men who actually move around. Just rub some on you. This fragrance sits in the amber-woody-earthy family — bright at the top with bergamot, cloudberry, and pink pepper, grounded by oak chips, tonka bean, and cedarwood. The result is warm, clean, and quietly masculine; it smells like a hike through pine and sun-warmed rock after a fresh shave.

Lock Pick Training Kit

At AoM, we’re aficionados of the fine art of lock picking. This clear lock pick training set you can fine tune your lock picking craft by seeing how the tumblers and springs move as you rake your way to opening the lock. Set comes with clear training lock, tension wrench, and four picks. 

Spy Coin

It looks like spare change, but it isn’t. This clever little gadget uses real U.S. Kennedy half-dollars that snap apart to hide a micro-SD inside—clean, simple, and delightfully sneaky. Stick a card in there between shoots, drop it in a gear case, and nobody will guess your film negatives (or files) are riding shotgun in a coin.

Ammo

Ammo is kind of expensive and you want plenty of it on hand for those impromptu trips to the gun range. Make sure you get the right kind of ammo, though. It’d be a bummer to get boxes of 9mm bullets when your gun is a .38 special. I’m hoping Santa drops a few boxes of shotgun shells in my stocking this year. 

Harmonica 

The tin sandwich has a long and rich history, especially in the American South and West. The beauty of this instrument is threefold: it’s relatively inexpensive (even for a quality model), it’s small and portable (easily fitting into nearly any pocket), and it’s one of the easiest instruments to learn (to the point of playing recognizable tunes). Get one for everyone in the family and have some Christmas singalong time right then and there.

Tom Selleck Ornament

Your tree could use a little more mustache. This hand-painted glass ornament from Cody Foster & Co. captures Tom Selleck in all his 1980s glory — Hawaiian shirt, chest hair, and the most famous ’stache in television history. It’s equal parts classy and ridiculous, which is exactly what makes it perfect. Hang him up and let a little Magnum P.I. energy patrol your Christmas tree.

Wall Mount Bottle Opener

A classic wall mount bottle opener placed right next to the fridge eliminates the hassle of twisting off a bottle cap, plus it makes opening a cold one a bit more enjoyable. 

Duncan Yo-Yo

Even as a grown man, I enjoy getting a kid’s toy in my stocking. It’s fun to have something to play with on Christmas morning and it just makes me feel like a boy again. You can’t go wrong with stuffing a stocking with an Imperial yo-yo from Duncan Yo-Yos. Besides giving a dad or uncle a chance to show off some cool tricks to the kiddos on Christmas morning, throwing the yo-yo is a surprisingly great activity for quieting the mind when you’re sorting through a problem. 

Estwing Hammer

Every man should have a high-quality hammer in his garage or tool chest. It’s not always easy to throw down $20 on a hammer when there’s a $7 version right next to it at the hardware store. It’s worth the extra bucks though, making it a great stocking stuffer. Practical, but also just kinda fun. Bonus: Estwing tools are made right here in the USA.

Tins of Shoe Polish

I don’t know about you, but I always seem to be out of shoe polish whenever I actually need it. I’ll make a mental note to pick some up on my next trip to the grocery store, and of course, I’ll go to the store and forget to buy some. The occasion will arise again when I need to shine my shoes and the vicious cycle repeats itself. It’d be nice just to have copious amounts of shoe polish tins in my shoe shine box so I’d never have to worry about buying a can ever again. I’m pretty sure if Santa left two or three cans in my stocking each year my wish would be a reality. At $4 a tin, it’s the perfect stocking stuffer.

Universal Socket

This Universal Socket is the ultimate tool for the DIY enthusiast. Its versatile design adjusts to grip hex nuts, hooks, and other various shapes, making it the perfect stocking stuffer. Crafted for strength and durability, it’s compatible with any drill and nuts ranging from 7mm-19mm. A compact powerhouse, it’s bound to become an essential in any man’s toolbox.

Knife Sharpening Kit

If you’re going to put a pocket knife in a man’s stocking, he’ll also need a good sharpening stone to keep his blade in tiptop shape. You might also include a slip of paper with a link to our guide on how to sharpen a pocket knife. Smith’s Sharpening Kit has everything a man needs to start sharpening his knife: a medium-grained stone, a fine-grained stone, and oil.

Balsa Wood Airplanes

Another fun toy to give a man in his stocking stuffer is a balsa wood airplane. They’re easy to put together and you’ll have a blast tossing them around the house. The Duluth Trading Co. is offering a squadron of 12 made by a company that’s been making the planes here in America for decades. 

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Card games have been around for a long time. They’ve existed in various forms for a millennium, having been invented in the Far East. From there, they came West with trading, and in the 1400s the French solidified the 52-card deck and the four suits — spades, clubs, hearts, and diamonds — that we use today. While different cultures and nations use different sets of cards, that system is the most widely used around the world. For literally centuries now, friends, families, and strangers have convened around bar tops, campfires, and dining room tables to play friendly and perhaps not-so-friendly games of cards.

The Appeal (and Manliness) of Card Games

What is it that makes card games so appealing, and why have they found such a particularly prominent place in the culture of men?

Portability. Rather than having to cart around a game board and various easily-lost pieces, a deck of cards can readily fit into a pocket or other small space. This is one reason they’ve long been popular with sailors and soldiers (as well as travelers and adventurers of all kinds); they can easily be thrown in a pack or seabag and cracked open on the frontlines or the bunk of a submarine.

Speed. Board games often require lengthy set-ups, and games can take a long time. It’s easily forgotten where one is at in the game if a break is needed. Card games, on the other hand, just need a shuffle, and you can play almost anything imaginable. And most games, even long ones, have natural breaks at the end of a hand or deal. You can just as easily play for a few minutes or a few hours.

Extra man points if you can identify the fella putting down the card.

Adaptability and informality. Most card games are folk games, with rules being passed on and changed from generation to generation (which is what makes tracing each game’s specific history particularly difficult!). Every family and even region has its own set of rules they prefer, and those rules can continue to evolve based on what’s most enjoyable for the folks playing it. Most games can also be scaled up or down on the challenge level to incorporate kids and expert players alike.

Balance of chance and skill. Games scholar David Parlett writes: “A major attraction of card games is that they are in general neither wholly mindless, like most dice games, nor excessively cerebral, like Chess, but offer a reasonable balance of chance and skill. The actual balance varies from game to game, enabling well-informed players to select from the vast repertoire of card games the one or two best suited to their tastes and talents.” Even though players don’t have control over the chance aspects of games, in times past, a man who had a streak of luck in cards was considered favored by the gods, which enhanced his honor.

Manly competition. It is has often been noted that men’s games are symbolic representations of their more violent clashes in fighting and war. This is as true of something like football as it is of card games. When anthropologist Michael Herzfeld lived among the tough, rugged shepherds of a remote, mountainous region of Crete, he observed that their daily card games were a “medium for the expression of contest in emblematic form.” He writes:

“Contests they most certainly are. One of my most frequent card playing companies would announce, ‘Let’s clash lances [na kondarokhtipisomene]!’ Card games are often described as ‘struggling,’ and valiant opponents as pallikaria (‘fine young men’). Some basis of opposition beyond that of a friendly game is usually sought; when two kinsmen of different generations were matched against each other, even though they were fairly close in age, an onlooker jocularly justified the whole situation by announcing that it was a contest between the old and the young. Almost every move is made with aggressive gestures, especially by the striking of the knuckles against the table as each card is flung down.”

This echo of the basic quest for manhood and honor, the requirement of strategy, and the element of risk and reward, “lends spice to what would otherwise be a daily repetitive activity.”

Ease and enjoyment of conversation. Card games facilitate easy, no-pressure conversation; if someone has something to say, they can say it; otherwise, people can just concentrate on the gameplay. Especially when all the participants are men, jokes and insults are traded and contribute to the unique sense of male camaraderie that can emerge around card playing. As Herzfeld notes, while other male activities like hunting or war “require swift and often silent action . . . the card game provides a forum for skill in that other area of demonstrative masculinity, clever talk. The rules of the games themselves are fixed, and therefore of relatively little interest . . . But the conversational gambits, well-timed gestures, and of course the flamboyant triumph of the winners are all legitimate themes in male interaction.”

Element of mystery. Generally in board games, every player is aware of the possible moves of every other player. You roll a die, and everyone else can see what’s going on and if a player is close to winning. With cards, the only thing the other players see is the uniform back of what you’ve been dealt. There’s a fun air of mystery knowing that on your next turn you can go out, and nobody else is the wiser until the moment you exultantly drop your cards on the table.

6 Card Games Every Man Should Know

For the reasons above, and the rich history of cards — you can play the same game your grandparents and great-grandparents played, and of course folks well before them! — every man should know a handful of games. The 6 below are a set particularly worth learning, for reasons of both popularity and intrinsic value; they are games that you’re likely to be invited to play by others, and if you aren’t, you should consider asking others to play them, because they’re so enjoyable!

Note: A couple of those listed feature one specific type of a broader category of games (e.g., gin rummy is just one of many types of rummy that can be played). But the general principles of that particular “subgenre” will give you a good idea of how that broader category of game is played.

1. Gin Rummy

Gin rummy was popular in Hollywood; here co-stars Joan Fontaine and Louis Jourdan play in between shooting scenes for Letter From An Unknown Woman.

Rummy, as a broader category of card games, revolves around gameplay in which participants try to make sets, or melds (in card playing parlance) — generally either 3 (or more) of the same number/rank, or 3 (or more) suited cards in sequence (a run). It’s also a “draw and discard” game, in which players draw a card from either an undealt or discard pile, and throw out an unwanted card as well. When all a player’s cards are part of a meld (or as many as are needed based on the variation), they go out, and get points based on what the remaining players have in their hand. Generally, you’ll play to a set point number, often 100.

Games scholars believe that rummy was originally a card variation on the Chinese tile game mah-jong, and came into being perhaps as early as the 1700s. Through many cultural and regional iterations, gin rummy, as the folk tale goes, was created in 1909 by whist (another card game) teacher Elwood Baker and his son, Charles Baker (who went on to become a renowned screenwriter). It’s thought that they invented the variation as a faster version of standard rummy. The history of gin is hard to suss out, though, since it didn’t really become popular until the 1930s (as with many card games in the US), when the Great Depression forced families to entertain themselves at home. It’s an easier game to learn than bridge, and more family-friendly than something like poker.

Gin rummy then took off in Hollywood and became immensely popular on movie, TV, and Broadway sets as an easy game, with a better reputation than poker, that could be played in dressing rooms and picked up and left off between shoots. In the late 1930s and 1940s you’ll find references to gin and “gin sharks” in numerous films, shows, and plays.

From there, its place in American leisure and game-playing was cemented, and today it’s often a game the whole family knows and plays, particularly when visiting with grandparents.

Click here to learn the rules of gin rummy.

2. Hearts

The game of hearts falls into the trick-taking category of card games, originally stemming from whist. Rather than wanting to take tricks though, hearts is unique in that you want to avoid collecting tricks, depending on the cards in the pile; hearts are bad, as is the notorious queen of spades (also known as “Calamity Jane” or the “Black Lady” in the game). It’s usually played to 100 points, but the person who gets to 100 is actually the loser, and the person with the lowest points the winner (hearts being a point each, and the queen of spades being 13 points).

Hearts first appeared in the US in the late 1800s, but has origins going to back to a 1600s French game called “reversis.” Like the modern hearts, the goal was to avoid taking tricks that had certain cards in them. While one hindrance to playing hearts is that the modern version requires 4 players to get a game going (though it can be played with more or less, with rule changes), it still enjoyed pockets of great popularity in the 20th century, especially among college students.

The game was then given new life at the end of the millennium when Microsoft Windows included it as a built-in game in their operating systems starting in the 1990s. You had three players provided for you, and could pick up a game anytime you wanted. This was how I learned the game, actually. Practice and learn on a computer or on your phone, then find three friends to play with. It will be far more interesting than staring down Pauline, Michele, and Ben (the default opponents in early Windows versions).  

Click here to learn the rules of hearts.

3. Poker (Texas Hold ‘Em)

Poker is a quintessentially American card game. What makes it unique from any of its antecedents is specifically the betting factor. While the gameplay is reminiscent of some other world games (and also just card-playing in general), the structure of betting sets it apart from anything that came before.

It’s possible that the game originated in 1820s New Orleans on Mississippi River gambling boats. From there, poker spread north along the river, and West along with the Gold Rush, becoming an important part of cowboy lore. When the dirty and tired men were done breaking horses or driving cattle for the day, and needed some entertainment around the campfire, poker became the go-to diversion. It involved skill, luck, and bit more friendly competition than many other card games. Betting — even with just pennies or matchsticks — naturally upped the ante.

Various ranking systems and variations of game play also spread through the country (and eventually around the world), but poker really took off in the late 1980s when Congress passed the Indian Gaming Regulatory Act, which legalized casinos on Native American land. Prior to that, gambling in all forms was far more regulated. Different regions had different popular variations, but Texas Hold ‘Em came to be the most played version in the Western US. In the 2000s, when ESPN began televising the World Series of Poker, and online gameplay took off, Texas Hold ‘Em became the dominant poker game around the world.

What makes poker great is that it retains a very competitive spirit even while playing for low stakes, and it can be scaled up or down depending on the proclivities of the group. You can play for $.05 or $5 or $5,000 or $500,000. Or for Chips Ahoy cookies. It’s also an ideal card game for a large gathering. Have a bachelor party to plan? Or a birthday shindig? Or a weekend guys night while ladies go paint and sip wine? A game of Texas Hold ‘Em in the garage or basement is perfect. To get you started, here’s a primer on the game, and here’s how to host a poker night.

4. Solitaire

Solitaire, as a group of games played primarily by oneself, was first developed in the mid-1700s, and first appeared codified in writing in the late 1700s. Unlike the other specific games in this article, I’m listing it here as the broad category. Why? For the simple reason that it’s likely everyone already has a preferred version of the game! (Mine is a variation of Kings in the Corners solitaire that I learned from my dad.)

Solitaire was actually first played with multiple people, either by taking turns making moves, or by each person playing with their own deck and seeing who would “win” first. It’s likely that the version played truly alone against just the deck itself came about by people practicing for the multiplayer variety. Soon, innumerable versions of solitaire came about, as any player could really make any set of rules they desired. It’s said that Napoleon played when he was exiled, and although a number of versions of solitaire are named after him, this rumor is likely just that.

As with hearts, solitaire really exploded along with the personal computer. No need to shuffle the deck yourself every time. Klondike, FreeCell, and Spider became the most popular (at least on computers), as those were stocked on most machines back in the 90s. Today, you can download apps that offer hundreds of versions of solitaire.

Try some out (you can peruse the “Solitaire” section of this book, or look them up online), practice playing them by hand versus on a device, and next time you’re bored, rather than automatically jumping to your phone for entertainment, deal out some cards and play solitaire.  

5. Cribbage

The game of cribbage has been beloved by men for centuries. While it incorporates a board, it’s really a card game for generally two people (though three or four can readily be accommodated with just slight differences), with the board only used to keep easy track of points accumulated. There are two parts to cribbage: pegging (numerically counting your and your opponent’s cards up to 31) and counting (making sets, runs, and 15s with your cards — see rules for more detail). It’s a game that really defies being grouped into other broader categories of games, making it especially fun and unique; there’s not really anything else like it!

Believed to have been invented, or at least codified, by British soldier and poet Sir John Suckling in the 17th century, it was brought to American shores by English settlers where it became quite popular in the colonies, especially in New England. Requiring only two players, it was readily adopted by sailors and fishermen as a way to wile away the time. Cribbage boards, which have either 61 or 121 holes, were (and still are) crafted from a variety of materials (learn how to make your own board here!) and could be quite unique and elaborate in form and style. Eskimos would make cribbage boards out of walrus tusks to trade with the sailors and fishermen who made port near their villages.

Cribbage remained popular with mariners for hundreds of years, enjoying especially widespread play in the Navy during World War II. It was thought of as the unofficial game of submariners, who played round the clock as they patrolled for Japanese ships.

Cribbage continued to be played after the war, and was a favorite game of college students at least up through the previous generation. But it seems to have, along with most other analog games, largely fallen out of favor and sight. It’s not a game that easily adapts to digital play either, meaning a lot of folks know of the game, but don’t necessarily know how to play. Don’t be like those guys.

Click here to learn the rules of cribbage.

6. Blackjack

Blackjack is unique on this list as it’s primarily a game you’d be found playing in a casino. It’s actually the most widely played casino game there is. Why might that be? Largely because it’s fast to play and easy to learn. You and/or a group of other players are betting against the dealer — just the dealer, you’re not competing against other players — to see whose cards can get closest to adding up numerically to 21 (or at 21) without going over. There’s a bit more nuance to it, but that’s the gist. If you get closer than 21 to the dealer, you win (as does anyone else who did the same). If the dealer is closer to 21, you lose. The value of learning the game is that you’ll be able to walk into a casino — which can be an intimidating place — and know how to confidently play at least one game.

Blackjack (previously called just “21”) was first referenced in writing in a short story by Miguel de Cervantes (of Don Quixote fame) in the early 1600s, meaning it was invented and played likely sometime in the mid or late 1500s. When introduced into US gambling houses in the 1800s, an early, seemingly random rule dictated a 10-to-1 payout if your hand contained a black (spade or club) jack. The name obviously stuck, even though the 10-to-1 payout was quickly abandoned.

The game became more popular in the U.S. in the late 1950s when some math whizzes came up with strategies that enabled the player to gain an advantage over the house. Ed Thorp’s popular 1963 book Beat the Dealer was the first to lay out card counting to the general public, and hopeful players the world over have tried, both successfully and unsuccessfully, to (mostly) legally win millions of dollars (as portrayed in the popular movie 21).

While card counting is technically legal as long you aren’t using some sort of device to help you, it’s very hard to do successfully, and casinos have the right to kick you out and ban you if they don’t like your odds and suspect you of it. So don’t try. Do, however, know the basics of the game so that when you happen to be in Vegas for your brother’s bachelor party, you’ll at least be able to hang around and not just sheepishly watch over his shoulder as a spectator.

Click here to learn the rules of blackjack.

Know these 6 card games and you’ll be able to confidently join in a contest with friends, wile away time with your family on a rainy camping trip, entertain yourself on a long flight, and keep your grandma company every Sunday night.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Some of you might be thinking, “Brett, why should I learn how to pick a lock if I don’t plan on breaking into people’s homes?”

Great question.

There are a few good reasons why law-abiding citizens should learn how to pick a lock:

Lock picking opens your eyes to the “illusion of security.” We all lock our doors to keep our loved ones safe at night and to secure our possessions during the day. After I picked my first lock within two minutes of learning how to do it, I realized that locks don’t really do much except provide the illusion of security. Locks make us feel safe, but if someone really wanted to get in your house, they could easily pick the lock on your front door. If they didn’t know how to do that, they could find another way in. You can’t just rely on a lock to keep you and your family safe. You need to utilize other tools and tactics and create multiple layers of security.

Realizing how little locks actually keep you and your stuff safe was both terrifying and surprisingly heartwarming. Terrifying because I saw that someone could easily enter my house and walk off with a crapload of stuff without having to break a window; heartwarming because seeing how easy it is to pick a lock and yet how rarely people get burgled, made me realize that most people don’t break into homes because, well, most people are good people.

It makes you handy. If you’ve ever been locked out of your house or car, you know how annoying it is to be standing there like a chump, waiting for someone to show up with a key or a professional locksmith to arrive. Wouldn’t you love to be able to jimmy your way in yourself? Not only can this skill save you a lot of time and money, being able to solve a problem like that on your own is pretty dang satisfying. Plus, you can help out all your friends when they get locked out too.

Knowing how to pick a lock may even help you save a life one day. ITS Tactical has highlighted a few instances in which someone picked their way into an older parent’s home because they weren’t answering the phone, only to find their parent collapsed on the floor. Could they have kicked the door down or broken a window? Sure. But picking a lock just takes a few seconds and doesn’t leave any damage. So why wouldn’t you do that if you could?

It’s a cool and fun skill! There’s simply a “cool” factor of knowing how to pick a lock. Of all the Jason Bourne-esque skills every man wishes he had, it’s one of the most attainable. The idea that I can surreptitiously enter most doors without a key makes me feel all-powerful, like some sort of super ninja-spy.

It’s also a fun little hobby and something I like to do when I’m taking breaks from work or hanging out with the kids while they do their kid thing on the carpet. If you get really into lock picking, you can actually go to events and contests to test your skills against other lock pickers.

Below we walk you through basic lock-picking techniques for tumbler locks. I made a lock picking YouTube video a few years ago that shows how to do this step-by-step.

The Legality of Lock Picking

There’s a common misconception that the only people who can legally own lock-picking tools are first responders or licensed locksmiths. The reality is that in most states, as long as you’re not trying to illegally enter someone’s home with your lock-picking set, you can legally own, carry, and use lock-picking tools.

There are, however, some states that have laws that make owning lock-picking tools prima facie evidence of criminal intent. If you’re caught with picks in these states and you want to avoid criminal charges, you have to prove that you didn’t plan on committing a crime.

Long story short: owning lock-picking tools and learning how to pick locks is perfectly legal and ethical as long as you do so without nefarious intent. Just be a decent human being. For a summary of lock-picking laws across the country, see here.

How to Pick a Pin Tumbler Lock

Pin tumbler locks are the most common locks found on the front doors of homes. So it makes for a good first lock to learn how to pick.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

A few months ago, we published an article on 11 personal finance goals for your 20s. Today we take a look at 7 personal finance goals for your 30s. While many of the goals you should set during this decade of your life are simply a continuation of those you hopefully started on in the previous one, your thirties bring some unique personal finance challenges that didn’t exist when you were a relatively carefree 20-something. As a friend once put it, “In your 30s, you’re just running.” You’re likely married, have small children, and your career is starting to take off — everything’s launching and/or accelerating at once. And with these new responsibilities come new personal finance goals.

As you read the suggested personal finance goals for your 30s, keep in mind that everyone is in a different place, so naturally everyone is going to have different objectives. But if you’re feeling confused and overwhelmed about money, it’s sometimes helpful to see suggestions for milestones to hit at certain points in your life. You can then take those broad suggestions and refine them so they fit your personal circumstances.

(In your 40s? We also have a guide to finance goals for that decade of life.)

1. Save six months of income in your emergency fund. 

Hopefully by now you’ve started an emergency fund. In your 20s, the goal was to get at least $1,000 in your savings account before you started paying off your debt. This provided a small cushion to prevent your financial life from derailing in the face of unforeseen expenses. In your 30s, you likely have more on the line than you did in your 20s — like a wife and kids to take care of and a mortgage. While having $1,000 in savings will certainly help, you’ll want even more security than that in the event you lose your job due to a layoff or injury. To that end, make it a goal to save at least six months of income in your emergency fund while in your 30s. Why six months? Studies have shown that after you lose a job, it takes around that amount of time to get a new one. Having six months’ worth of income in your savings account will ensure that you can continue to support your family while you’re hitting the pavement looking for a job.

And besides protecting you from negative events, having six months of cash in the bank gives you a bit of freedom to take some risks. Maybe you finally want to start that business you’ve been dreaming about or perhaps an opportunity comes up to travel for three months. Your emergency fund can help you take advantage of those opportunities.

In short, six months of cash in the bank is one very effective way of becoming more antifragile.

For extra personal finance points, try to save one year’s worth of income by the time you turn 40.

2. Pay off all-non mortgage debt. 

In your 20s, you paid off all your credit card debt and started a debt repayment plan for your student loans. In your 30s, the goal is to stick to that plan — keeping credit card debt at bay and paying off all your non-mortgage debt. Be aggressive with it. Slash your expenses with frugal living, earn extra money through side hustles, and divert as much of your savings and income as possible towards eliminating your student loans and any other debt. If you don’t think it’s possible to pay off your debt while trying to support a family with an average income job, just read the experiences of folks who followed Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover program. You’ll find several examples of families of five or six, where the husband was the sole full-time income earner, who still managed to pay down down six-figures of debt in just a few years. It just takes dedication and sacrifice.

3. Increase retirement savings to at least 15%. 

Hopefully by now you have some sort of retirement account set up and are making regular contributions to it; you won’t be one of the 40%(!) of Baby Boomers who have nothing saved for their golden years. As you pay off more of your debt, start shifting some of the money that’s no longer going to loans to your retirement account. Most personal finance experts agree that in your 30s you should be saving at least 15% of your income for retirement. If you want to make sure you have plenty, aim for 20%. Don’t know what to invest in? Check out our post on index funds — the best stock market investment option for just about everyone.

4. Get your estate planning in order. 

You’re going to die someday. Could be in 50 years or it could be tomorrow. Whenever it happens, your estate will have to be set in order and distributed to your survivors. If you want to control how your stuff gets doled out when you’re gone and make the process as hassle and conflict-free as possible for your loved ones, you’ll need to have a will or a trust in place. Wills and trusts are particularly important if you have children. If you and your wife both die, who do you want to take care of them? How do you want the money in your accounts spent to raise them? In addition to a will or trust, your estate plan should have documents like an advance directive and durable power of attorney. Instead of your family arguing about whether to pull the plug on you when you’re in a coma, make that decision yourself with a living will and a health care surrogate designation (the person who gets to call the shots when you’re incapable of doing so).

For more information, see our article on estate planning.

5. Consider term life insurance. 

When you’re in your 30s, you’re starting to build up a financial foundation that permits you to give your family comfort and security. But what would happen if you died tomorrow? Would your family still be able to live comfortably or would they be scrambling to figure out how to make ends meet because you’re no longer around to provide for them?

Take a step to ensure your family is taken care of by purchasing term life insurance.

It’s key that you make sure the life insurance policy you get is term life insurance. There’s another type of life insurance out there called cash value or whole life policies that are much more expensive and confusing; it lasts for your entire life, and you have to pay into it until you die. With term life insurance, on the other hand, you pay a monthly premium for a set term (could be 10, 20, or 30 years). If you die within the term, the insurance company will pay out a specified amount to your beneficiaries. So for example, if you bought a $500,000, 20-year term life insurance policy, if you kicked the bucket 10 years after purchasing the policy, your wife (or whoever you set as the beneficiary) will get $500,000 from the insurance company.

Most people don’t buy life insurance because they think it costs too much. But as financial planner Jeff Rose wrote in a previous post:

Not true! A healthy 35-year-old man can get $500,000 of term insurance for 20 years for the price of 6 Double-Doubles per month at In-N-Out Burger. While you won’t get the same immediate gratification when making the payment, you can rest assured that your family is taken care of.

And what if you outlive the term of the policy? Well, congratulations! You’re still alive. That’s great news. Hopefully, you’ve been saving enough during that time that you’ll have so much money that you won’t need another insurance policy to take care of your loved ones after you die of old age.

6. Start a 529 plan for your kids. 

I don’t know what the future of higher education is going to be. Perhaps in the next 15 years, people will be able to get a college education for free online, or maybe college tuition will keep increasing at a rate of 5% each year. I’m hoping for the former, but banking — quite literally — on the latter. As soon as each of my kids were born, I set up a 529 college savings account for them to which I now make regular monthly contributions. While you can’t write off the amount you contribute to a 529 on your taxes, the interest the account generates is tax free. So if Junior’s plan earns $10,000 in interest, you don’t have to pay taxes on that $10,000 when he starts withdrawing money to pay for school.

If your child decides not to go to college, you can re-assign the account to another child and pass along the tax-free earnings. If that’s not an option, you can cash the account out but pay a 10% penalty on the earnings accrued.

7. Get an accountant (if your finances are complex). 

When you were in your 20s, your finances were probably rather simple. You may have had just a checking and a savings account and maybe a few bills. When you get into your 30s, your finances start getting more complex — mortgages, homeowners insurance, multiple retirement accounts, college savings plans, maybe even a side-hustle business. All these additions to your financial picture will definitely make taxes more complicated. While you can use software to guide you through the process, a certified personal accountant can make sure you’re not paying more in taxes than you should be and will save you a ton of time — especially if your finances are a little more complex than the average joe’s.

Up until a few years ago, I did my own taxes with TurboTax. With expanding business and financial complexities, taxes took me forever, and I was definitely leaving money on the table. So I decided to hire an accountant, and it is easily one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. She quickly found places where I was overpaying on taxes. Best of all, I hardly spend any time on my taxes myself. Just a few minutes gathering forms for her and then reviewing them before I send them in.

Listen to our podcast with Nick Maggiulli about the 6 levels of wealth and how to reach them:

With our archives 4,000 articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in November 2015.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.