![\"\"](\"https:\/\/content.artofmanliness.com\/uploads\/2025\/12\/27-give-up-6-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a new year, which means people everywhere are making resolutions about what they\u2019re going to add<\/em> to their lives. More exercise. New routines. A fresh system that will finally get everything they’ve got going on dialed in.<\/p>\n There\u2019s nothing wrong with trying to add good things to your life. But there\u2019s another, often more effective way to improve it: subtraction<\/em>. Instead of asking, What should I start<\/em> doing this year? ask, What should I stop<\/em> doing?<\/p>\n Nassim Taleb calls this approach via negativa<\/a><\/em>. It\u2019s about improving your life by removing the things that diminish it. In many cases, giving something up delivers faster, more noticeable gains than adding something new ever could.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re looking for some ideas of things to give up in the new year, we\u2019ve got 27 suggestions below, along with plenty of resources to help you take those ideas and put them into action.<\/p>\n Think about all the news stories you\u2019ve kept up with in the last ten years \u2014 the wars, disasters, elections, and so on. How much did those events affect your life, and how much were you able to influence them by being informed? Chances are, the answer is close to zero on both counts. Staying a little abreast of news is important for being a sound citizen, but you can drop about 95% of its consumption<\/a> without hurting yourself or society. Your life will in fact improve without this stress-inducing, time-sucking, almost entirely pointless distraction. <\/p>\n You wouldn\u2019t let a friend talk to you the way you sometimes talk to yourself. While it might feel like your inner critic is helping you improve, that negative inner monologue is making you more anxious, more depressed, and more likely to flub a performance. Drop the negative self-talk this year<\/a>, and you\u2019ll free up the energy needed to navigate life more resiliently and adeptly.<\/p>\n Rolling over and grabbing your phone first thing hands the steering wheel of your day to whoever emailed, posted, or tweeted overnight. You start the morning reactive, not proactive, and that sets the tone for the rest of the day. Use a real alarm clock to wake up and wait thirty minutes before you check your phone, allowing your brain to boot up on its own terms.<\/p>\n What a colossal waste of calories caloric beverages are. They simply don\u2019t taste that great (especially if we\u2019re talking about soda), and have little to no nutritional value. If you want a treat, at least consume something you can chew! Switching to nothing but diet drinks and water is the very easiest way to lose weight; people can often drop significant poundage and improve their all-around health profile just by making this move.<\/p>\n We\u2019ve all been there. You\u2019re bored, so you pick up your phone and start scrolling through your various apps. \u201cJust five minutes,\u201d you tell yourself. But five minutes turns into thirty, and you don\u2019t even remember the content that flicked across your screen during that time. And to make matters worse, instead of feeling refreshed and invigorated after that scrolling-filled brain break, you feel more stupefied. What a waste! Break your smartphone habit this year<\/a>, and you\u2019ll slowly start to feel your brain come back to life.<\/p>\n Constantly telling yourself what you should<\/em> do is like living your life by someone else\u2019s checklist \u2014 a way of avoiding real choices and accountability. When your goals are driven by what you think others expect from you rather than what you genuinely want, you give up a bit of your personal power and head down a path paved with resentment, guilt, and frustration. This year, stop shoulding<\/em> all over yourself<\/a> and start making decisions because you<\/em><\/span> choose <\/em>them, not because you feel obligated by some invisible script.<\/p>\n You\u2019ve got plenty of time to read books. Being \u201ctoo busy to read\u201d is usually just a failure of priorities. You\u2019ve given up mindlessly scrolling. Use that time to read a book. You can even use the Kindle app on your phone to read books while you\u2019re on the subway or waiting for a doctor\u2019s appointment. You can get a lot of books read<\/a> when you break it up into 5 to 15 minute chunks throughout the day.<\/p>\n Strength training is awesome. But don\u2019t neglect the other aspects of fitness. Cardio keeps your heart healthy; mobility keeps you moving like a human instead of a rusting Tin Man. It\u2019s not hard to get this stuff in. Take a short walk every morning<\/a>. Do a quick mobility routine when you get out of bed<\/a>. Do longer Zone 2 cardio <\/a>sessions two times a week. Life\u2019s more fun when you feel vital and spry.<\/p>\n Slow drivers, long lines, glitchy Wi-Fi, inept customer service reps. These minor inconveniences and annoyances aren\u2019t personal attacks. Sure, they\u2019re annoying, but those annoyances probably won\u2019t matter in ten minutes, so stop letting them ruin your mood for the rest of the day. No circumstances can make<\/em> you feel a certain way; you\u2019re in charge of that.<\/p>\n That talk you\u2019re avoiding doesn\u2019t get easier the longer you put it off; it just gets harder. Unsaid things have a way of leaking out sideways. Addressing issues directly is uncomfortable, but it usually brings relief. In fact, the awkwardness and discomfort you imagine will exist during that conversation usually don\u2019t arise to the degree you think they will; the exchange typically goes much better than you imagined (here are some tips for upping the odds of that outcome<\/a>). Rip off the band-aid!<\/p>\n We\u2019ve written about the downsides of porn<\/a>. Porn trains your attention and desire in ways that don\u2019t translate well to real intimacy. Many men find that cutting it out improves their relationships, their mood, and simply how they generally feel about themselves. Why not give quitting porn a try and see if it makes a difference for you?<\/a><\/p>\n Complaining feels like action, but it\u2019s usually just noise that allows you to slip responsibility for doing something about what’s bugging you. Stop your bellyaching<\/a>: if you can\u2019t change something, accept it; if you can change it, get to work.<\/p>\n Algorithms are everywhere, from your social media feeds to your streaming platforms, serving up things they think you\u2019d like based on what you already like. But sometimes we don\u2019t know what we like until we\u2019ve tried it. Open your life to new flavors and delight-inducing serendipity<\/a>. Browse bookstores. Wander record shops. Pick a movie at random. Choose articles and podcasts based on interest, not just recency or virality. Rediscover the joy of surprise.<\/p>\n Cynicism masquerades as manly intelligence, but it\u2019s mostly just emotional armor. It keeps you from being disappointed by keeping you detached and aloof. The problem is that cynicism also keeps you from being moved and inspired \u2014 from the emotional investments that give life its richness and depth. This year, trade cynicism for love.<\/a> You\u2019ll notice that your life becomes bigger and more vibrant.<\/p>\n When you were a kid, you developed skills in academics, art, music, and sports, and likely even taught yourself things like how to do magic tricks and skateboard. Now that you\u2019re an adult, can you think of the last new skill you learned? If it\u2019s been a long time, consider ending that drought. That voice saying \u201cit\u2019s too late for me\u201d is lying. It is harder for adults to learn new things, but it\u2019s still very possible.<\/a> So pick up that guitar or skateboard this year \u2014 just make sure to wear kneepads.<\/p>\n Alcohol is essentially a poison, and in addition to making you feel like crap the next day and dinging your wallet, more and more research shows that even moderate drinking is bad news for your health. Make this the year you extend Dry January into the next eleven months.<\/p>\n Winning arguments often means losing goodwill. Not every disagreement needs a verdict. Sometimes the better move is to try to understand the other person and agree to disagree.<\/p>\n Anxiety ruins your well-being and ability to enjoy life to the hilt. You may think of it as a reaction, a feeling, or a disorder. But perhaps the best way to think about anxiety is as a habit<\/em>. Like all habits, the anxiety habit can be broken. Here\u2019s how to break yours. <\/a><\/p>\n For most of human history, dressing differently marked the passage into manhood; it helped men take themselves seriously and be taken seriously by others. Clothes don\u2019t make the man, but they do shape how he shows up. Dressing more like a grown man and less like a boy<\/a> will remind yourself (and the world) that you mean business.<\/p>\n You\u2019re probably a nice guy. You like to help people and you don\u2019t like to disappoint them. But saying yes to things when you really want to say no is just setting you up for burnout and resentment. This year, learn to say no tactfully without over-explaining<\/a>. It will free you up to say yes to meaningful, freely-chosen priorities.<\/p>\n You spend at least a third of your life at work. Why spend that time at a job you despise? Enduring a bad job drains more than your paycheck can replace. Even if you can\u2019t leave tomorrow, you can start positioning yourself for something better.<\/p>\n Conversational narcissists<\/a> only like to talk about themselves; they don\u2019t ask other people questions, and even when someone else has a chance to talk, they find ways to bring the discussion back to themselves. Conversations are meant to be games of tennis where you each take turns hitting the speaking ball over the net. When you listen as much as you talk, you\u2019ll learn more, come off as more charming, and walk away with stronger connections.<\/p>\n Winging it sounds freeing until the week runs you over. A simple plan creates orientation and reduces decision fatigue. You don\u2019t need a color-coded system; you just need a rough map. Check out our article on how to plan your week<\/a>; it shares the system I\u2019ve used for nearly twenty years to get stuff done.<\/p>\n Apologizing is hard; it\u2019s never easy to admit you\u2019re to blame. You feel like you lose status and face. But shirking responsibility costs you more in how people see you. You\u2019d be surprised how much respect you can gain from others with a clean, unqualified \u201cI messed up and I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n1. Keeping up with the news<\/h3>\n
2. Engaging in negative self-talk<\/h3>\n
3. Looking at your phone right when you wake up<\/h3>\n
4. Consuming caloric drinks<\/h3>\n
5. Mindlessly scrolling your phone<\/h3>\n
6. “Shoulding” on yourself<\/h3>\n
7. Saying you\u2019re too busy to read books<\/h3>\n
8. Skipping cardio and mobility work<\/h3>\n
9. Letting minor annoyances ruin your mood<\/h3>\n
10. Avoiding difficult conversations<\/h3>\n
11. Watching porn<\/h3>\n
12. Complaining about things you can\u2019t (or won\u2019t) change<\/h3>\n
13. Letting algorithms choose what you read and watch<\/h3>\n
14. Being cynical<\/h3>\n
15. Thinking you\u2019re too old to learn new skills<\/strong><\/h3>\n
16. Drinking alcohol<\/h3>\n
17. Trying to win every argument<\/h3>\n
18. Holding on to your anxiety habit<\/h3>\n
19. Dressing like a boy instead of a man<\/h3>\n
20. Saying yes when you mean no<\/h3>\n
21. Settling for a job you hate<\/h3>\n
22. Being a conversational narcissist<\/h3>\n
23. Going through your week without a plan<\/h3>\n
24. Being too proud to say you\u2019re sorry<\/h3>\n
25. Not responding to emails and text messages<\/h3>\n