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When I played football in high school, our head coach had one refrain that he\u2019d hammer into us over and over again: act with class.<\/em><\/p>\n It meant no trash talk. No showboating. Help the other guy up, even if he just tried to take your head off. Don\u2019t scream at refs. Don\u2019t throw your helmet. When you win, act like you\u2019ve been there before; when you lose, don\u2019t sulk and pout.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve tried to carry that refrain with me even after taking off my football pads for the last time. For me, acting with class is a way of moving through your social world with dignity, respect, and a little heartening warmth and charm.<\/p>\n For most of Western history, class was about economics and where you sat in the social hierarchy. Centuries ago, your class was determined by what family you were born into, how much land you owned, or how much armor you could afford for battle.<\/p>\n But beginning in the late 1800s, the word \u201cclass\u201d started being used in another way \u2014 as a signifier of bearing rather than birth. It was used to describe comportment, especially for athletes and entertainers who carried themselves with skill, decency, and poise. To perform well under pressure, to exude grace, made you a \u201cclass act.\u201d<\/p>\n Today, \u201cclassy\u201d can describe anyone who evinces magnanimity and self-possession. Someone who\u2019s generous, but not a show-off \u2014 decorous but not stilted. A class act is governed by standards rather than moods or incentives; even when circumstances would excuse poor behavior, or a boorish move might gain them advantage, they still do the right and fair thing. Wherever they go, they elevate life a bit. They leave situations better than they found them. <\/p>\n We like classy people because their steadiness and consistent good graces can be relied upon. They inspire you to live a little better without preaching. Classy fellas make the world a bit more pleasant with their everyday civilities.<\/p>\n Below are 25 of those small courtesies that you can practice to be known as a classy SOB.<\/p>\n A classy fella doesn\u2019t wait to be acknowledged. He initiates eye contact. He gives a warm \u201chello\u201d to the neighbor, the cashier, or the guy at the gym he sees every morning. It\u2019s a small thing that can brighten people\u2019s day.<\/p>\n As ol\u2019 Uncle Carnegie said, \u201ca person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.\u201d So regularly use people\u2019s names. Be natural about it. You don\u2019t have to say it after every sentence. That just comes off as forced.<\/p>\n When you meet someone new, make a point of remembering their name. When you see the person again, use it (\u201cHey, Chip! Great to see you!\u201d), and you\u2019ll leave them thinking, \u201cMan, what a classy guy!\u201d<\/p>\n Holding the door open used to be a chivalrous gesture reserved for men to offer women. Now it\u2019s a way for one human to acknowledge the presence and reality of another. It\u2019s a way of saying, \u201cI see you, fellow person; we share in the collective struggle of existence; and I\u2019m going to make life a tiny bit easier for you.\u201d<\/p>\n A classy SOB doesn\u2019t treat driving like a zero-sum moral contest. He waves people into a busy traffic line. He understands that getting home 12 seconds earlier is not a victory worth defending.<\/p>\n We\u2019re big proponents of the handwritten thank-you note here at AoM, and in this day and age, when most communication is conducted digitally, a handwritten thank-you note really sets you apart as a class act. Whether someone gives you a gift or you just appreciate some small gesture, let them know with paper and pen.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t need to be verbose with your thank-you notes. Two or three sincere sentences will do the job.<\/p>\n Trashing people when they\u2019re not around is easy, and it might get you some kudos from your peers; who doesn\u2019t like to hear salacious rumors about others? But it\u2019s also how you earn a reputation as someone who can\u2019t be trusted. Everyone knows that if you bad-mouth some other person, you\u2019ll probably do the same to them when they\u2019re not around.<\/p>\n If you wouldn\u2019t say it to someone\u2019s face, don\u2019t say it when they\u2019re not there.<\/p>\n This is the inverse of the above rule and an underratedly classy move.<\/p>\n When you say something kind about someone who isn\u2019t there \u2014 and especially when there\u2019s no strategic reason to do so \u2014 it enhances that compliment. It creates goodwill that often travels back amplified to the person you praised. And to the people who heard that third-party compliment, you seem like the kind of guy who sees and dwells on the good in others and not some two-faced, backbiting grumbletonian<\/a>. Class act!<\/p>\n A classy gent leaves whatever environment he finds himself in better than he found it. One way to do that is by picking up trash. If you see it at the park, in your neighborhood, or in the breakroom, throw it away \u2014 even if it isn\u2019t yours.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t have to dress like Fred Astaire 24\/7 to be a classy gent. In fact, there are plenty of stylish fops who are completely classless boobs.<\/p>\n But a classy guy dresses appropriately for the situation he’s in. A funeral isn\u2019t the place for a t-shirt. A wedding isn\u2019t the time to test the level of casualness you can get away with. Showing up appropriately dressed is a way of saying, \u201cI recognize the significance of this occasion, and I want to add to it.\u201d<\/p>\n Tardiness is a form of thievery, as it steals other people\u2019s time. Being on time communicates that you value other people\u2019s schedules as much as your own.<\/p>\n There is an exception to this rule; when it comes to a dinner party, arriving early is the unclassy thing to do and being a few minutes late the classy \u2014 it gives the host a little buffer in finishing their preparations.<\/p>\n A classy SOB doesn\u2019t treat every exchange like an opportunity to bask in the spotlight. He isn\u2019t always looking for a way to turn the conversation back to him. Instead, he asks questions, listens intently, and adds commentary judiciously. He gives other people the chance to open up and shine. <\/p>\n If you borrow some tools from a friend, bring them back cleaned and sharpened. If you borrowed a truck to move something for your mom, return it with a full tank of gas. If something breaks, even if it was an accident, pay for or procure a replacement.<\/p>\n If you bump into someone, say, “excuse me.\u201d If you mess up, say \u201csorry\u201d with no \u201cbuts.\u201d<\/p>\n There\u2019s a lot of unnecessary solicitation of tips these days, but when a service calls for it, and someone does a genuinely good job, harness your inner Frank Sinatra and duke \u2018em.<\/a> <\/p>\n You don\u2019t have to be reckless, but err on the side of generosity when you can. It\u2019s one of the simplest ways to practice everyday magnanimity.<\/p>\n Nothing says \u201cyou\u2019re not worth my attention\u201d like glancing at a screen while interacting with another human being. A classy SOB keeps his phone in his pocket when he\u2019s with someone in the flesh. He understands that undivided attention is a form of respect \u2014 and true caring.<\/p>\n If you say you\u2019ll call, call. If you say you\u2019ll show up, show up. If you say you\u2019ll handle it, handle it.<\/p>\n Class includes a sense of discretion.<\/p>\n Not every thought needs to be aired. Not every personal struggle needs to be psychoanalyzed publicly. Don\u2019t make others cringe because you feel the need for catharsis or are hunting for social media likes.<\/p>\n If someone helped, say so. If an idea wasn\u2019t yours, acknowledge it.<\/p>\n Classy people aren\u2019t afraid of diminishing their own glow by letting others shine. In fact, giving people the credit they deserve lends you a greater luster.<\/p>\n Anyone can be gracious when life is going their way. The classy SOB keeps his composure when it isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n No sulking. No public tantrums.<\/p>\n You gotta learn how to lose and \u201cnever breathe a word about your loss.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n A classy person doesn\u2019t corner others socially. If someone\u2019s late, flustered, or clearly wants to leave a conversation or decline an invitation, he offers them a graceful exit rather than putting them on the spot. He lets people save face. Mercy is a form of manners.<\/p>\n A lot of service workers spend their workdays being instrumentalized \u2014 ignored or treated like machines. The classy SOB doesn\u2019t do that. He goes out of his way to acknowledge the humanity of the people who make everyday life function \u2014 cashiers, customer service reps, janitors, bus drivers, delivery people, waiters, garbage men, etc.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t fiddle with your phone while you interact with them. Don\u2019t berate them.<\/p>\n Make eye contact. Give them a warm \u201cHow\u2019s it going?\u201d Say \u201cthank you.\u201d Easy stuff.<\/p>\n If someone does something that upsets a class act, he takes care of it privately and keeps his complaint proportionate.<\/p>\n A classy man doesn\u2019t gripe loudly in public or turn every minor inconvenience into a moral crusade. He handles issues calmly, directly, and without an audience.<\/p>\n Kid not getting playing time on the basketball team? Have a private conversation with the coach instead of airing your grievance in the parent group chat.<\/p>\n Your boss snub you? Set up a meeting with him. Don\u2019t blast him on a Slack channel.<\/p>\n If someone gets a minor fact wrong, mispronounces a word, or tells a story imperfectly \u2014 and the mistake doesn\u2019t matter \u2014 a classy guy lets it go. He understands that being right is often less important than keeping the interaction humane and preserving the person\u2019s confidence and dignity.<\/p>\n Correction is sometimes necessary. But most of the time, when we have the urge to do it, it\u2019s just ego and the desire to get one-up on another.<\/p>\n A class act is secure in his own worth and doesn\u2019t feel the need to boast \u2014 either overtly, or more subtly in the form of namedropping and humble bragging. He knows it\u2019s off-putting, and he doesn\u2019t wish to induce the noxious feeling of envy in others.<\/p>\n For a classy gent, being a host isn\u2019t limited to those times you initiate and invite others to a social event; it\u2019s a mindset you bring to every place and interaction.<\/p>\n1. Say hello first<\/strong><\/h3>\n
2. Use people\u2019s names \u2014 and remember them<\/strong><\/h3>\n
3<\/strong>. Hold the door open for the person behind you<\/strong><\/h3>\n
4. Let people merge in traffic<\/strong><\/h3>\n
5. Write handwritten thank-you notes<\/strong><\/h3>\n
6. Don\u2019t bad-mouth people behind their backs<\/strong><\/h3>\n
7. Compliment people behind their backs<\/strong><\/h3>\n
8. Pick up trash that isn\u2019t yours<\/strong><\/h3>\n
9. Dress appropriately <\/strong><\/h3>\n
10. Be on time<\/strong><\/h3>\n
11. Be a generous conversationalist <\/strong><\/h3>\n
12. Return things in better condition than you received them<\/strong><\/h3>\n
13. Say \u201cexcuse me\u201d and \u201csorry\u201d without qualifiers<\/strong><\/h3>\n
14. Tip generously (within reason)<\/strong><\/h3>\n
15. Put your phone away during conversations<\/strong><\/h3>\n
16. Keep your word \u2014 even on small things<\/strong><\/h3>\n
17. Don\u2019t overshare<\/strong><\/h3>\n
18. Give credit freely<\/strong><\/h3>\n
19. Act with dignity when things don\u2019t go your way<\/strong><\/h3>\n
20. <\/strong>Give people an out<\/strong><\/h3>\n
21. Acknowledge service workers as people, not automatons <\/strong><\/h3>\n
22. Keep your complaints private and proportionate<\/strong><\/h3>\n
23. Don\u2019t correct people unnecessarily<\/strong><\/h3>\n
24. Don\u2019t brag<\/strong><\/h3>\n
25. Act like a \u201chost\u201d wherever you go<\/strong><\/h3>\n