{"id":43274,"date":"2014-09-30T19:03:40","date_gmt":"2014-10-01T00:03:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=43274"},"modified":"2025-01-22T09:16:41","modified_gmt":"2025-01-22T15:16:41","slug":"how-to-recover-from-a-bad-first-impression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/people\/social-skills\/how-to-recover-from-a-bad-first-impression\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Recover From a Bad First Impression"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Vintage<\/p>\n

Have you ever met someone new, and almost immediately realized you had made a bad first impression?<\/p>\n

Maybe you made an off-color joke, were obviously inebriated, or came on too strong. Or maybe you put off an impression that you were not all that interested, even if perhaps you were. If any of these things have happened to you, then you\u2019ve probably realized that you have to decide very quickly what you should do about it.<\/p>\n

Bad first impressions are nothing to scoff at. They are a big deal. A bad first impression can set a tone for an entire relationship. I\u2019m sure you can think of people you\u2019ve known for years who made a bad first impression on you, and you still remember it years later.<\/p>\n

Whether justified or not, these bad impressions have a tendency to sink in, and they can lead to fewer opportunities, limit your income and advancement chances at work, create an unfavorable reputation in your community, or ruin any chance you had of progressing your relationship with a beautiful lady you just met.<\/p>\n

AoM has previously covered the importance of making good first impressions. In “How to Enter a Room Like a Boss,”<\/a> I wrote about what men can do to make a good impression when first arriving to an event. We’ve also covered how to give a proper handshake<\/a> (a crucial piece in giving a good first impression) and even how to make sure your home puts off a good first impression for visitors<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But in this post, I want to cover a different side of the coin: what you can and should do if you try<\/em> to make a good first impression, but fail<\/em>. Should you acknowledge the bad impression and apologize? Or should you just move on? Should you go to extra lengths to try to make up for it, perhaps even going so far as to write an apology note?<\/p>\n

Have no fear, men. The answers to these questions lie below. If you\u2019ve made a bad first impression, it\u2019s not the end of the world. It\u2019s happened to all of us, and you can recover. Here\u2019s how:<\/p>\n

6 Strategies for Recovering from a Bad First Impression<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

1. Decide Whether or Not to Take Action<\/h3>\n

Before you decide how to address a bad first impression, you must first ask whether it\u2019s necessary to respond at all. Not all bad first impressions are created equal. Who<\/em> you were trying to impress will have an impact on whether or not you decide to take action to remedy your stumble.<\/p>\n

If you just met someone on the street or if it\u2019s a person you casually met at a cocktail party and you made a bad impression, then the best response might be no response. \u201cI\u2019m all about building a confident first impression but sometimes people get too caught up in having to make a perfect first impression,\u201d says Dr. Dave Stachowiak, a leadership trainer with Dale Carnegie Training and host of the Coaching for Leaders<\/a> podcast.<\/p>\n

If the relationship is not one that is all that important for your business or for you personally, then you might just need to let it go. \u201cWe all make bad first impressions. It\u2019s just human nature,\u201d says Stachowiak. \u201cWe have a bad day. Does it really matter to try to fix it? Is it really a big deal? If not, let it go.\u201d<\/p>\n

On the other hand, if the person was really important to you — like a new boss, a VIP, a future in-law, or even a date you were excited about — then how you respond is of course of much greater importance.<\/p>\n

If in fact the relationship does merit some kind of response, then the following tips will get you back on track.<\/p>\n

2. Take Swift Action and Apologize Immediately<\/h3>\n

The first thing you should know about first impressions is that they are formed very quickly. In fact, they are made faster than most of us realize. \u201cResearch shows that when making a new contact, we decide if we like someone — and people do the same with us — within a fraction<\/em> of a second,\u201d writes Patti Wood in Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Because first impressions are made so quickly, your reaction needs to be quick as well \u2013 once you decide you are going to take action, proceed to do so as soon as possible.<\/p>\n

The first and most obvious approach for recovering from a bad first impression is to immediately apologize. Often it is not the transgression, but the lack of contrition, which causes greater lingering bitterness or hard feelings. So apologizing swiftly can avoid this problem.<\/p>\n

But face-to-face apologies can be tricky because Americans tend to be a proud bunch, and other communities around the globe can be even more prideful. Many people view it as a sign of weakness or embarrassment to apologize face-to-face. But an apology does not need to be a sign of weakness, if you remember that your apology is simply a tool for preserving and extending your relationship, which is ultimately in service of deepening human connection.<\/p>\n

If your pride does get in the way of apologizing immediately face-to-face, then your \u201capology\u201d can also take different forms, such as:<\/p>\n