{"id":57145,"date":"2022-09-11T10:53:05","date_gmt":"2022-09-11T15:53:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/?p=57145"},"modified":"2025-10-31T12:48:58","modified_gmt":"2025-10-31T17:48:58","slug":"how-and-why-to-hold-a-weekly-marriage-meeting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/people\/family\/how-and-why-to-hold-a-weekly-marriage-meeting\/","title":{"rendered":"How and Why to Hold a Weekly Marriage Meeting"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Vintage<\/a><\/p>\n

With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, we\u2019ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in June 2016.<\/i><\/p>\n

Six years later, we’re still doing weekly marriage meetings ourselves, and still finding them greatly beneficial. And when it comes to readers saying, “I tried the advice in X article and had success with it,” we probably get more feedback of that kind about this post than any other. <\/em><\/p>\n

The institution of marriage arguably carries a heavier weight of pressures and expectations in the present age than it has in any time previous. Spouses don\u2019t just partner up for purely economic and procreative purposes \u2014 they expect to be romantic lovers, best friends, co-parents, and sometimes even business partners.<\/p>\n

Balancing all of those roles might seem like a burden, and it certainly can be. Husbands and wives may both be working \u2014 and not just one job, but several. There are kids to raise and schedules to juggle. Family members can end up feeling like ships passing in the night.<\/p>\n

But modern marriage is also an incredible opportunity \u2014 one that, if managed right, can be an unending source of joy and satisfaction. It\u2019s you and her, against the world, building your world.<\/p>\n

But if you want to plan and tackle life\u2019s greatest adventures side-by-side, you\u2019ve got to stay in-sync and work effectively as a team. As marriage therapist Marcia N. Berger puts it<\/a>:<\/p>\n

the art of marriage is really the art of keeping up to date with your partner, of staying on track with your own and each other\u2019s life goals as they emerge, exist, and change. It is about supporting each other and staying connected emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So how do you stay connected on all those levels?<\/p>\n

Enter the weekly marriage meeting.<\/p>\n

Berger suggests holding a short weekly meeting with your spouse that\u2019s broken into four parts: Appreciation (expressing gratitude to your spouse), Chores (making sure to-dos are getting done), Plan for Good Times (scheduling date nights, as well as individual and family activities), and Problems\/Challenges (addressing conflicts\/issues\/changes in the relationship and in life in general).<\/p>\n

The structure of the marriage meeting is designed to rekindle your romance, solidify your friendship, nip potential conflicts in the bud, and help you smoothly run your household economy. If you\u2019ve already got a great marriage, then marriage meetings will enhance it. If your marriage has been struggling, the meetings can help you get your relationship back on track.<\/p>\n

We’ve recently started making marriage meetings a habit, have found them to be really beneficial, and would recommend them to others. So today we\u2019ll walk you through the four parts of marriage meetings, as well as the nuts and bolts of how to implement them in your relationship.<\/p>\n

The Benefits of Marriage Meetings<\/h2>\n

You may be wondering what the point is of holding an \u201cofficial\u201d weekly marriage meeting. If you and your wife talk about things like chores and activities in passing, then why sit down for a discussion during a dedicated time?<\/p>\n

The answer is that you\u2019ll go deeper on the things you\u2019re already talking about superficially in snatches. You\u2019ll also open up on things you keep meaning to mention, but haven\u2019t \u2014 either because you keep forgetting or because you\u2019ve felt uncomfortable and it never seems like the right time to talk about it.<\/p>\n

Marriage meetings offload concerns and ideas that are crouching on your mental bandwidth and bring closure to loose ends. They ensure you\u2019re on the same page about everything that\u2019s going on internally and externally, and contribute to a home and family life that\u2019s more orderly and harmonious. And they don\u2019t just reconnect you as a couple during that time; in smoothing out snarls, encouraging appreciation, and laying plans for fun, they create the conditions for greater connection the rest of the time as well.<\/p>\n

Consider marriage meetings as a weekly fueling stop \u2014 periodic maintenance for your relationship. You can only get so far off track in seven days! Checking in each week thus ensures your relationship is always headed in the right direction. (Similarly, consider doing an annual marriage checkup<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

The device might seem contrived, but if we\u2019ve learned anything in life, it\u2019s that nothing happens haphazardly. If you want a satisfying, fun-filled, long-lasting marriage, you\u2019ve got to be intentional<\/em> about it. And marriage meetings are a key way of doing that.<\/p>\n

How to Execute a Marriage Meeting<\/h2>\n

The following are some of the guidelines Berger suggests for implementing and carrying out a marriage meeting: <\/strong><\/p>\n